Cowboy's Little Darling - Besotted Hero

The problem with doubt is that it leaves a seed of anxiety inside you, anxiety that contaminates you for things that were once so certain. I thought Cole had feelings for me, that he admired me and found me beautiful, at last, that was my hope, because sometimes he stared at me for long minutes, with an intensity that left me almost breathless. Before meeting him, I had never experienced attention from a man, as he was the first to pursue me for real. I now realized how my mother had held me back from meeting new people. I remember the odd day she suggested I ride my bike into town, only for a frightening man to confront me. Did she plan that? I sometimes wonder if my mother intended for me to stay home with her forever.

In a moment I was feeling so alone I met a kind and wonderful man, who helped me get to my aunt and assisted me in a time of need. I think I fell in love with him at that moment when his smiling eyes turned to me with confidence and certainty. I never knew I could feel so many things how I felt for Cole but now I found myself plagued by uncertainty. Perhaps Cole was just being friendly, or maybe he lacked the courage to ask me to leave. Bryan had warned me that I was too naive and would end up disappointed. Was he right? Did he know something I didn't?

Two weeks had gone by since that talk in the garden, and despite Bryan's prediction that Cole would travel, he didn't. He stayed home and treated me with the same intensity, always smiling and being affectionate and kind. He kept kissing me, putting his tongue inside my mouth and I did the same, which seemed to make him happy. Yet, doubts still lingered in my mind. As much as I wanted to believe Cole saw me as special, Miss Samantha was still present daily.

She called him frequently at the house, sometimes interrupting our breakfast conversations. He always seemed annoyed by the interruptions but answered nonetheless. I was confused because he hadn't explained the situation to me. When I mentioned this to my aunt, she reassured me that Cole was genuinely interested in me and that the other woman didn't seem significant to him. I was unsure of what to think, as I had never faced this before. How could I be certain? Should I ask him directly? Would Cole mind if I inquired, "Do you like me? Is she important to you? Can I be with you forever?"

I wasn't sure if I was being unreasonable or if I was imagining things. The uncertainty lingered, and I didn't know how to handle it. My aunt encouraged me to talk to Cole, but I felt embarrassed about possibly making a fool of myself. Auntie was recovering well, and we would be leaving soon. What would I do if the moment came and I didn't ask anything, never to see Cole again?

One hot afternoon, I was in the living room, sitting on the sofa with a book. I had spent the morning with my aunt, who could finally put her leg on the floor, though she still felt some pain. Cole had talked with us for nearly an hour, sharing stories about animals he had sold and reminiscing about his childhood. My aunt laughed joyfully, recalling her own childhood memories. She even mentioned my mother, describing her as a bright and happy child, which made me wonder when things changed and my mother became so sad and cold.

Cole looked at his watch, saying he needed to see some colts that were being sold. He got up, and gave me a quick kiss on the lips, even with my aunt there, which made me blush widely. He said goodbye, put on his hat, and left, closing the door gently, like it was the most ordinary thing to do. I felt like running after him but my auntie was not about to allow that. "Hailey, dear, what I just saw?" she asked, looking at me with curiosity. "Are you... Hailey darling... is there any chance you have a baby inside you?" What...?

"No, auntie... I would never!" I replied, my face burning with embarrassment. I mean, I wouldn't know how.

"Oh sweetie, I can imagine you wouldn't, but I bet Cole would..." she chuckled at her own joke. 

"Don't let that boy get too comfortable without a ring on your finger!" She made some playful noises, but then her face brightened. "But Cole seems like a man of integrity, my dear. Just think of the beautiful baby you two will have!" Oh, Auntie...