We Never Lived I 18+

"What's his name?" Parker hates that his voice is trembling, that he sounds so vulnerable, so pathetic.

The anger came before, but now he feels like a broken mess. 

"We weren't together when it happened," Ellia dismisses quietly, but her back is turned to him, and Parker isn't able to read her expression. His hazel eyes study the back of her woefully, down to each strand of blonde hair.

"How long were you two together?" 

Ellia finally turns, but it's only to walk to the kitchen for a glass of water. "Not that long, Parker." 

"I don't understand," he chokes out, still bewildered. "I thought you wanted a break to – to figure out yourself, not to get with another guy." 

She fills up her cup, her left hand shaking a little. "It all happened so fast," she admits through the sound of running tap water, voice barely hearable. 

When Ellia brings the cup up to her lips, he can finally see her face, and he doesn't like the calmness that he finds. She's practically docile, blue eyes devoid of tears. 

"Do you love him?" 

"I – why do we have to talk like this?" she demands, eyebrows raising. For whatever reason, she sounds angrier than he does (and should). "I'm with you now, it's done. I won't ever see him again." 

Parker struggles with a maelstrom of emotion that runs through him. He runs a hand through his brown hair, takes a seat at the kitchen table, then gets up again. He's self-aware that he's tall, taller than most men, bigger than most guys, and he doesn't want to scare her by getting too upset. 

But he wants to get upset, terribly so – he wants to drive his fist through the wall, to break everything in this apartment. Her apartment. The supposed place she left him for, the job she left him for, the man she left him for – 

Parker takes a few heaving breaths, trying to find the words to explain that particular feeling. "This changes things for me," he settles on, forcing the tears back. 

God, it feels like he's been socked in the stomach. He expects the waves of betrayal to disperse, to grow smaller, but they keep hitting him, the pain growing more intense. If it was real water, the sea would've stolen him away by now. 

Ellia's face finally falls, a crack in her facade. "Why?" 

She has a difficult time taking accountability, always has, and he usually bends for her, but not – not when it comes to another guy, another man being inside of her –

Another deep, shaky breath. "Because you lied to me," he grits out. "You said you wanted to take a break for work, for yourself, and I said yes. I never would've agreed had I known –" 

"It's not cheating!" Her voice rises an octave, a pitch, and for once she sounds shrill. Her blue eyes are slightly round, panicked. "It's not, Parker, it's not. Can we just talk this through rationally?" 

He throws his hands up in the air, exasperated with her. What doesn't she understand? What can't she see? If he had done the same thing to her, wouldn't it have broken her heart? Or wouldn't she have cared? "What is there left to fucking talk about?" 

"Did you love him? Did you?" 

She works her jaw silently, clearly torn.

"That tells me exactly what I need to know." 

"No, it doesn't. It doesn't." She grabs onto his arm, shaking her head earnestly. "I love you, I want to be with you, I want to marry you." 

"You're the one that called off our engagement," he says thickly, ripping away from her. "You're the one that fucked another guy –"