I Can't Believe I'm POLY?!?!?(Hyunjin Centric)

Wassup y'all!
Here's your chapter!
Thought, it's sad one... Grab your tissues!

Warning ⚠️ Tarke caution when reading ahead!
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Hyunjin POV

I have been here for 5 days and yet, I miss them, so much.

These past five days have been nothing but literal torture. The night I arrived, some time later—after noona left— Mr. Hwang came in drunk. As expected, we fell into our old routine. A bloody, messy relationship, and I obviously don't mean it in a good way.

Finally, when he left, I got my first aid kit and started aiding my wounds, which was hard. I mean I know how to bandage myself up—been doing it for years— but, it's been such a long time that I forgot how to. The only time I need to repair, is when one of my old wounds opens up after workout, or games with the omegas. And I barely get to do much before Chahn or Minho hyung barge in my room.
After I was done, too tired to do anything, I fell asleep.

'He's beautiful.'

'Sam. That's his name. Just like you papa.'

'C'mon, you can do it.'

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'Dad, plea--'

'I'm not your dad, you murderer!'

'P-please--'

'You deserve this! You killed my wife!'

'DIE IN YOUR SLEEP, YOU MURDERER!'

"AHH!"

Was that one of those nightmares?

Again?

Ever since the incident with Minho hyung, I've been having these nightmares. Repeatedly. Sometimes, when awake I would... hallucinate these events, as if they were happening or were supposed to happen. I considered talking to Chahn hyung, but I figured he would be better off without my problems. He already has enough on his plate as it is.

Abd I'd be damned if you found me sitting in an office, talking to some lunatic telling me, about myself. That shit is creepy.

                                  ~

Now that I'm fully awake, I could check some things on my phone, since I've got nothing to do. I'm supposed to go for a board meeting at 5:00 pm, it's currently 2:30.pm. Wow, I have 30 unread messages and 34 missed calls—dang, am I at the center of a manhunt? Did I commit a federal crime?
Anywho, I will get them later. Now, I need to--

Knock knock.

Oh?

"Hyunjin? Cub? You there?" Yeji's voice could be heard from the other side of my  bedroom door.

"Come in."

"Cub, you alright?" She asked, eyeing my face with a scrunched nose. Kinda reminds me of Felix and Jeongin when han says he wants to cook. I suddenly chuckled, remembering a familiar recent incident.

"What's so funny?" She asked, and it was all deja Vu.

"Nothing." I said with a cheeky smile, knowing she'd catch on.

"Yah! No backsies!" I burst out in laughter.

Yup, she definitely caught it.

"Anyways, turn around. Like hell I'm letting you bleed yourself to death. Did Chahn make you all soft? Seems like you forgot to patch up properly."

"Yeah, he doesn't know, personal space."

She laughed at my joke, making her own in the process.
"You think he even knows what that word means?"
After our brief moment of laughter, I did as told and sat quietly as she worked her magic on my disastrous attempt to stop the bleeding.

"How are you doing, noona? We never got time to catch up." I said, as soon as she finished.

"I'm fine. Been missing you is all."

"Look, Hyunjin, I need you to be honest with me."

"Okay?"

"Am I that bad of an older sister that you won't talk to me? I-I thought that because...no matter what you were going through, the abuse,—even now— you still won't talk to me. Why?"

Ah, there it is.

I had feared this would happen...

I feared she would ask...
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‘Why?’ That question...is the one I fear the most.

How do I answer her?

I mean, she's my big sister, the first person I would talk to, should talk to, but my case...it's different.

It isn't some everyday pent up, traumatic, depressive shit.

I can't just interrupt her life with my problems.

If I did, I would never forgive myself.

You know why?

Cause I'd have lost one of the people that matters most to me.

My life, problems...my whole existence brings chaos to people around me. Even though they say it's okay, it's not.

'How does it get okay?'

That's just it. It doesn't. I just have to keep this with me until I hit soil. I can't afford to lose more people, especially not Yeji.

"Noona, I'm fine."

"If you're really fine, then why are you crying? Got sometjing in you eye?" She asked sarcastically, wiping my tears while crying some of her own.

She's making this so hard.

"Yeah, my eyes are a bit sensitive."

"Oh, cub." She pulled me into a hug—crying a river— as we sat silently for a few minutes, until she broke it all together with my heart with her next utterance.

"I know you're hurting, cub. I promise, I'll be right here when you need me. I'll wait, even if it's a long time. I'll wait for you to come back home. To me."

She doesn't deserve this.

She doesn't need to know I got burdens, the consequences...but what can I do?

She's my sister. She loves me.

I just wish that love, wasn't at such a cost.