Onika Maraj
New York
November 28 (Sat)
I was out of it.
Somewhere between sleeping and just laying there, too sore to move. Every time I shifted, even a little, my body lit up-my thighs, my arms, my everything.
They cuffed me and didn't let up. Took turns, didn't stop, didn't slow down. I couldn't grab anything, couldn't hold on. I just had to feel it. It was a lot. It hurt. It felt too good. And they just kept going.
I was laid across the bed, knocked out, but I could feel someone staring at me. I didn't even have to open my eyes to know who it was.
I groaned, voice still raspy, "Stop staring at me..."
"Wake up."
I blinked a few times, eyes fluttering open and of course, Lauren was laying beside me just staring with one hand rested on my pillow holding her head up.
She tilted her head. "Go brush your teeth. I ran you a bath for the soreness."
I sat up slow, everything aching. "Where's Beyoncé?"
"She had to go handle some business," Lauren said. "It's just me and you right now."
I nodded, trying to stand. Tried. The second I got up, my legs wobbled and I sank right back down onto the bed.
"Fuck," I muttered, wincing.
Lauren chuckled under her breath. "Mhm..."
I finally stood up again, slow as hell, wincing like an old woman. My legs felt like jelly, and every step to the bathroom reminded me exactly what they'd done to me last night.
I made it to the sink and blinked at my reflection.
Damn.
Love marks everywhere my neck, my chest, even under my jaw. My thighs looked like someone gripped me like they were afraid I'd disappear. My breasts had bite marks.
"Yeah, I ain't ever doing that distancing shit again," I muttered.
I brushed my teeth slow, still groggy, then stripped out of the oversized shirt I was in probably something they slipped on me after knocking me out and I stepped into the bath. The warmth hit instantly, and I let out a long sigh as I sank in, laying my head back.
I was finally starting to relax. But again... I felt eyes on me. I didn't even open them.
"Yes, Lauren?"
She answered like she'd been waiting. "We need to talk."
I opened my eyes and looked up there she was, standing in there with her arms crossed, her face unreadable.
"Okay?"
She came over and sat on the edge of the tub, close but not touching.
"Why did you distance yourself like that?" she asked. "Even at work. You started treating me like your assistant-which, yeah, I am but even before all this... we were friends. You talked to me. So don't blame it on that 'I like to keep it professional' shit."
"Lauren... breathe," I said, tilting my head at her.
But she didn't laugh. She just looked at me, waiting. Lauren didn't move. Didn't blink. Just looked at me, voice firm but soft.
"I'm not joking, Onika," she said. "We communicate over here. We don't bottle shit up and shut down. So what I'm not understanding is... why couldn't you do that?"
I looked away for a second, eyes stinging, throat tight.
"I apologize. I didn't know how to talk about it."
