? '' Dont forget; rewrite. '' ?

hi there! dearest reader, I know its been a while, but I've been just YEARNING to have something published soo..

here you are!

Don't forget (pun 100% intended) to have fun! read responsibly.

~

TW ;

- Negative body viewing
- self harm
-angst

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ZAK POV

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I laid in bed, wrapped in the blankets and sinking in the warmth of my own bed. My bed is where I usually mourn the man I once was,

a true happy fella.

But those days are gone.

Dealing with ED's and many mental disorders really changes a man.

boy at this point.

I'm not the type to memorize timestamps, but at about 2 in the morning, I started to zone out and thinking about what I usually think. the bad thoughts is what I called them. it was something like..

you're not a true man.

you've failed me.

you're so big, lose weight!

not fun thoughts, haha.

I laid there for a few minutes before I felt the vibration of my phone.

I got a notification.

Darryl ♡

are u awake? :]

mhm

skeppy, can I
maybe.. like,
fly out to you?

sure

okay! I'll be there in..
about a week? hah..
I bought the plane ticket
like 2 weeks ago >.<

okay

~

Although my extremely dry messages show otherwise, I was extremely panicked and scared.

For future context, that's my best friend, BadBoyHalo. He lets me call him by his real name because it adds something special to our..

friendship.

but anyways, I really needed to clean up my room. it felt like one of those mobile games or something scary, like a horror game on roblox kind of scary, because I was always anticipating something to happen.

I eventually got to trash all the energy drinks and the very moldy fruits in my room that I never ate because... actually I'm not sure why, I really only eat fruits..

But that's besides the point. I had gone into the bathroom to take care of my extremely matted hair. my mama worked as a hair stylist, so I knew how to untangle my hair. Afterwards I had decided to shower.

I remember how I stared into the mirror, and how I looked at my body in disgust. I never saw me for me, I saw me as an ugly monster that looked like it weighed hundreds of pounds.

I remember how I whispered to myself, in a soft, quiet, voice.

you're disgusting Zak.. you're too scared to face your true self so you go with the identity of Skeppy..

poor little skeppy, suffering in your skin...

Putting on a mask for content won't be easy to do forever.

And possibly other things.

I remembered grabbing the blade that was tucked away behind my towels, and I held it against my skin, on my leg. it's easier to hide with socks and pants that are too large for me.

I sliced the skin and watched blood sneak out, pouring onto the ground, staining the tiles.

and then I did it over and over again.

until it burned.

~

welp, here's the first chapter of the rewrite! this might be worse, but whatever-

word count ; 524!