I am all by myself / The trees are not trees / The birds are not birds / And I am not me / But something that has been walking for a very long time.
YELLOWJACKETS. Lottie Matthews
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Chapter Twenty-Six.
Is a bird still considered a bird when all its feathers are plucked? The cabin is no more. It has been consumed by fire, eaten whole by God. Lottie and Travis huddle away like broken votives on opposite ends of the altar, but their faith still tethered by the same desire. Natalie and Sade are yoked at the hip.
Sade is so fucking hungry. God.
Taissa circles above the wreckage like a hawk, eyes sharp, talons ready. She grips Shauna's arm, urgency in her voice."Did you see who started it, Shauna? The fire?"
Shauna shakes her head, eyes wide. "N-No. I couldn't sleep, so I was writing in my journal. Then I saw the flames."
Sade pulls the blanket up to her chin, her voice steady. "Is there anyone missing? Seems like everyone's here."
Misty counts with her eyes—fast, frantic sparrows. Mari uses her fingers, slow and deliberate, as if touching each soul by name. Van murmurs about someone going out to piss earlier, and Akilah opens her mouth to speak, but is cleaved quiet by Sade.
"You think this was random?" she asks, eyes sweeping bodies. "You think it's coincidence the night after Lot's confessed, we were nearly killed?"
Silence falls, heavy as a thunderhead. Lottie stares at the snow. Natalie watches her like she's watching a funeral flame. Her voice wavers, but never breaks.
"We were given signs. You may not like how It speaks, but the Wilderness is final."
"And what if the fire was the Wilderness?" Taissa steps forward. "Why the hell would It want to kill us?"
Sade turns to her old friend slowly. It is. . . she is righteous, not by law, but by survival. "It's sparing us. We needed to get rid of the cabin for something new."
Natalie puts a chilly hand on her wrist. She doesn't pull her back or stop her from speaking as she would anyone else—just touches her. Grounding her in reality.
And still, she goes on: "You can laugh. Mock It. Pretend It isn't real. But It knows us. The truth of us. What we really want and what we're not saying." Sade gazes at Shauna. "It wanted Natalie, so the cabin had to leave. A fair trade."
"So," Akilah adds her, "where's Coach?"
Sade's mind went momentarily blank. Fuck. Somewhere deep in her belly, the wings flapped once. Then again. Humiliating. She didn't plan for Coach to be gone as she committed the act of penance. Did he see her? Would he confess? She'd seen it in him. The kind of strength that wasn't just survival, but pain. Humanity. Coach was still painfully human. The skin everyone had shed as they tore Jackie Taylor's flesh from bone. A martyrdom so profound, it hadn't even named itself yet. It.
