i feel like my whole body and my mind have been shattered into a million pieces. i feel like the air is too heavy for me. like i can't breathe. i feel like the whole world turned grey. i feel like a dark cloud of rain is always following me around. i feel like the darkness is back and it will never go away now. and every time i see you, i feel like i should've never met you. and every time you hug me, i feel like my brain doesn't even function anymore. and every time you smile, i stare at those fucking dimples and i feel like i want to cry. and every time i see your face, i wanna erase your freckles so that they won't hurt me anymore.
and all i want to do is stare at nothing and listen to sad music. and i know im stupid and it could have been so much worse but i just feel like my world was crushed. and i shouldnt feel that way. i know it. but since i met you i dealt with much more feelings than i would ever admit. these emotions weren't supposed to ever exist. but i had to do with them. and i know some other people have it way worse than me but that doesn't make me feel any better. and at the beginning of all this mess, i thought i didn't want anything with you. that just being in your presence made me feel happy. but here i am. and i don't even know who is that person. i bet they're wonderful -you deserve someone wonderful- but i also hate that they were ever born.
