Endless

One

I cant take the fake smiles anymore so instead I turn and walk away. "I will be there." I say to her even though I really don't want to go to this dinner, these kind of big family and friends dinners mean that something bad is happening because my parents think it would be good to tell everyone at the same time. 

I can hear my cousin sigh as I walk away from her. "okay see you there," she says before I hear her heels clicking as she walks away. I hate shutting the people I love out but its all I know how to do now. I cant trust someone with my emotions before I know that they wont leave me. I thought 18 years was enough time to trust that he wouldn't leave me but here we are. 

I walk through the castle halls until I reach my bedchambers. the familiar wooden door is already open when I get there, I could have sworn that I locked this damn thing before I left for my ballet room. I grip the dagger at my thigh taking a deep breath and I gently push the door open. 

"Ava you need to stop locking your door," mom says with an unamused look on her face. she is sitting on my bed with her arms crossed over her chest, she is wearing black pants and a loose fitted shirt, her long silver hair is tied into a tight braid and her blue eyes are piercing into me. "it's making me think you are doing things here that you shouldn't be doing." 

"mom I'm literally 20 years old," I roll my eyes and cross my arms as I lean against the wall after I close my door. "and what are you doing in my room anyways?" 

"I'm the queen of Ilya but there are still rules in place," she says, "and I'm here because I brought you something. come sit," she pats next to her on my bed. 

I slowly walk over and sit with legs crossed on the soft blankets of my bed. mom hands me a big box, a dress box and tells me to open it. I look at her confused before I slowly take the lid off and I move the thin paper out of the way. there sitting in the box, looking perfect and wrinkle free is a silver dress, a black dress and moms green vest . my eyes snap up to meet moms small smile, "these are aunt Adena's clothes," I say. "mom I can't take these, especially not your green vest." 

"Ava honey, I want you to have them," mom says placing her hands on top of mine where they are resting on the delicate fabric. "your sister got the red dress and I want you to have these, just don't tell her I gave you more clothes than her or it will be a war."

"mom why are you giving us your favorite clothes?" I ask, "you wouldn't even let us touch them as kids." 

"well because unfortunately for me, after pushing out three big ass babies and going through four pregnancies. . ." she pauses and we both are silent for a moment before she continues. "unfortunately these dresses don't fit anymore, and I did promise your aunt that I would wear this vest every day but the damn thing doesn't fit anymore." mom says sighing, "if she could, your aunt would come back just to yell at me for growing out of it." 

"are you sure you want me to have these?" I ask softly as I run my hands over the fabric.

mom smiles at me, "she would have wanted them to get worn, no matter who wears them. she just wanted her clothes to be worn and loved. I want you to have them so that they are not sitting in my closet anymore." 

"thank you mom," I say quietly, I lean over the box and I give her a hug. her arms wrap around me and mom holds me tightly. 

"you're welcome," she says as we pull back from the hug. "now go try one on, I want to see what it looks like on you."