In The Wake of Chaos // B.E apocalypse A.U

Everyone slept closely on the floor in the living room. Well, everyone but Lennon. She lay awake, staring at the window where the moonlight poured in, casting a soft glow across the room. Her mind raced with a thousand thoughts—the what-ifs, the what-else. She couldn't shut it off. Every corner of the world outside felt like it was crashing down on her. The silence was deafening.

With a sigh, she shifted, sitting up slowly. Her gaze fell on Billie, who lay sound asleep beside her, peaceful despite everything. Lennon envied that peace. How could she still look so serene in the middle of all this chaos? But maybe that's what kept Billie alive—her ability to find peace amidst the storm.

Lennon swallowed hard, her chest tight, and she decided to get up. She moved quietly, not wanting to disturb anyone, and made her way toward the bathroom. The place had seen better days, but it was clean enough to use. She handled her business quickly, her mind wandering again to the things she couldn't stop thinking about.

When she returned to the living room, the others were still asleep, the rhythmic rise and fall of their chests in time with the steady breaths of exhaustion. Lennon took a moment to study them, the stillness of their sleep a stark contrast to the storm raging in her head. She felt so far removed from them—so alone in her thoughts.

Her eyes landed on her gun, resting just within reach. She picked it up with shaky hands, her fingers curling around the handle as though it might slip away if she didn't hold on tight enough. Quietly, she pushed open the front door and stepped outside. The night air was cool and crisp, the kind that made you feel both alive and numb at the same time. She closed the door softly behind her, then sat on the porch steps.

The neighborhood was a ghost of its former self. Houses that had once stood proud now lay broken and abandoned, windows shattered, doors hanging off their hinges. The devastation was everywhere, but Lennon knew there was no place left to run. This was their reality now—her reality. The weight of it settled over her like a blanket of cold.

She glanced down at the gun in her hand, her thumb lightly brushing the cold metal. How did the world become this? What happened? She squeezed her eyes shut as her chest tightened, the tears starting to well up. Slowly, as if on instinct, she lifted the gun to her temple, her hand trembling. She held it there, staring up at the empty sky above her. The stars were far out of reach, just like everything she once knew.

Tears began to streak down her face, hot and relentless, but no sound came from her mouth. There was nothing but the silence, thick and suffocating. Minutes ticked by—ten? Twenty? It felt like an eternity. The air around her felt colder, the world felt smaller. She could feel the tremor in her fingers, the pull of the darkness.

And then, with a strangled sigh, she lowered the gun to her side, letting it dangle loosely between her fingers. Her body trembled as she collapsed into her hands, crying quietly, her body shaking with each sob.

She was scared. So scared. She didn't want to see anyone else die. She didn't want to die. The thought of it gripped her heart, tightening with every breath. Death had always been a fear for her, even when she was younger. It was inevitable, but that didn't make it any easier to face. She didn't know how to handle the constant weight of it.

She picked up the gun again, her breath shallow, tears still wet against her skin. "I can't. I can't do it." The words came out in a whisper, barely audible over the beating of her heart. The gun clutched tightly as she rested her elbows on her thighs, her body slumped under the weight of her fears.

She sat there, still trembling, the tears refusing to stop as the minutes slipped by. Stress and fear weighed down on her, her body feeling like it might crumble under the pressure. Her mind spun in circles—her thoughts too loud, too jumbled. She didn't even realize the front door had creaked open until a hand appeared from behind her, reaching for the gun she still clutched tightly in her trembling fingers. Another hand gently pried it from her grasp, and before she could fully comprehend what was happening, two legs appeared from either side of her, and warm arms wrapped around her from behind.