Once Upon A Time in Joseon

12. The Last Goodbye

He stared at her for what felt like an eternity, his mind torn between what he should do and what he wanted to do. His hand hovered over the time stopper in his pocket, trembling with indecision. This was the last goodbye.

Was it? What can he do to fix this without killing her? What can he do with the only power of time to save her life and his crown? Was there even a way out of this? Would he be able to reach that way? Or are the monsters waiting for him already?

Nobody knew but me

He paused, his voice thick with the weight of his confession. "I would stop time—freeze the entire world. While they were stuck in their moments, I had days, weeks... even months to practice. I'd spend endless hours mastering the sword, perfecting every strike, every punch. I would stand in the palace courtyards, under the stars that didn't move, with the wind frozen in place, with raindrops caught in the middle of the air and I would train until my body gave out."

"I would train until I would fall with exhaustion and I would sleep right where I fall so no one sees it on my face. I would clean myself, bathe myself, change my clothes, hide them and wash them. I would hide my practice marks and place back the books right where they were. I would clean the floor that I dirtied and I would climb the walls of the palace when the door was too heavy for me to open myself to go out. I would give myself tests and then solve them myself through the still world without cheating. I would cry alone when i can't remember it no matter how many times i read it out loud"

His eyes glistened with something between pride and regret. "Archery, martial arts, strategy, philosophy—I'd practice everything. When the world slept, I worked. I read entire books, studied the philosophies of ancient kings, honed my skills until they were flawless. When time resumed, no one saw the blood, the sweat, or the exhaustion. No one saw the crying boy, frustrated with his own inabilities. Hating himself for not knowing what others know. They only saw the perfect prince."

He clenched his fists, feeling the burden of the years weighing heavily on him. "And I did it again and again. Every time I felt like I was falling behind, I would stop time, and I'd catch up. I made sure no one could surpass me, made sure I was always the best. But it came at a cost. The more I used it, the more time I spent outside the world. Sometimes it felt like I lived in a separate reality, watching everyone else move while I stood still, alone."

His voice grew softer as he looked at her still form. "I used it because I had to be perfect. Because I couldn't fail. I couldn't let anyone see my weaknesses, my flaws. I thought... I thought if I could just be perfect, maybe I'd earn my father's approval. Maybe I'd finally become the ruler they all expect me to be. I am doing so great at it. My ways might be wrong, but there is nothing I would not do for this Kingdom. "

His words hung in the air, desperate and raw. He wasn't speaking to her, really. He was speaking to himself. "I've spent my whole life serving this kingdom, sacrificing everything—my freedom, my happiness—for the crown. Every day, I've had to be more than human. I've had to be the perfect prince of the perfect King, the perfect son of a perfect Father."

His voice wavered as he looked at her still form, his heart heavy with the weight of his own words. "And now I stand here, in front of you, and I don't know what to do. You... you shouldn't matter. You're just a girl. You can not matter."

His hands shook as he ran them through his hair, his voice breaking. "If I let you die, I'll be free. I'll be perfect again. No distractions. No longing. No unexplained occasions. But if I let you die, I'll lose something else—something I don't even have." How could manipulating himself be the solution of it all.

He clenched his fists, forcing the words out even as his heart rebelled. "I don't know whom to ask. I have no one who can help me out of this. No one who can give me advice on this problem. Or any problem. I was the one people sought solutions from. I decide the best. I advise the best. I lead the best. The fist hurt with its own grip. The time stopped might be suffocating inside the fist. If only the owner of this button was here to guide him. It would all have been perfect then. Teardrops fell out of his eyes at the thought of Master Jang, the only reliable person he can imagine to turn to. He hit his head on the window wall, "Please tell me what to do?", a long silent pause, as if the answer to his prayers will come in some time if he waits enough.

"This is the last time we'll meet. After tonight, I won't come back. I won't stop time. I'll let my father execute you, if that's his command. He is never wrong, and I'll go back to being the prince, the ruler everyone expects me to be. I'll be perfect."

For those who don't know the Crown Prince this is new but this was nothing new to me. He was the Crown Prince. He was the best decision maker. Of Course he came to the right conclusion. This was the only way he could fix what he disturbed. But he is not just the best strategist Crown Prince, he was also the Coward Crown Prince. He could have never had the courage to make this right. He never had the courage to let this girl die. To sacrifice love for duty? To kill your loved one for responsibilities it takes courage. The courage his Master had. But he passed away before teaching his student this lesson.

He would have done anything but let her die. I can vouch for him.

"I'll be perfect." As he said it, was there a tear sliding down his cheek? There was nobody to check. He knew it was a lie. Perfection was gone, shattered the moment he had looked into her tear-streaked face.

He stared at her for what felt like an eternity, his mind torn between what he should do and what he wanted to do. His hand hovered over the time stopper in his pocket, trembling with indecision. This was the last goodbye.

Was it? What can he do to fix this without killing her? What can he do with the only power of time to save her life and his crown? Was there even a way out of this? Would he be able to reach that way? Or are the monsters waiting for him already?

Nobody knew but me
Cause i know about him very well
I know about her I know about their kingdom
I have too many secrets to tell