The Way Things Go

(Tw: topics of eating disorders and very mild alcoholism)

Atsushi woke up feeling a mix of pain, pain, and more pain.

His head was hammering, his body felt like he'd been crushed by a hydraulic press, his stomach felt like an empty pit. Over all, he's not feeling like he's in tip top shape.

But there is one upside: his head is resting on something really nice. It's solid, but in a comforting way. And it's warm. And it's... rising up and down?

Atsushi cracks his eyes open, and to his own horror, he is resting on the one and only Akutagawa- fucking- Ryuunosuke's chest. And he is staring down at atsushi with those beady ass eyes. Like this is normal. Actually no, he looks mildly shocked, as if he's surprised atsushi hasn't jumped up and fucking decked him yet, but other than that he's completely normal.

Atsushi does as expected, jumping up and screaming. "WHAT- WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY THE FUCK?! WHEN THE- YOU KNOW WHAT?! WHAT WHERE WHEN WHY HOW. NOW" Atsushi yelps in one big jumble of words.

Akutagawa sits up and stares blankly at Atsushi  as if he's just sick of this shit. Which, fair enough honestly. "Well, you were drunk last night, then you passed out on me. Story over. Does that satisfy you, your majesty?"

"Why didn't you stop me?!" Atsushi yelps.

"Because.. because you looked like you needed the sleep, alright? Plus, you'd just spoken to your manager, that's a reason in itself" akutagawa says, oddly sincere. Which throws atsushi off because.. what?

"Oh. Um. Ok. Well, I'm gonna go now. Bye. I hope you, um. Crash your car on the way home. I guess. Fuck off, die." Atsushi word vomits before grabbing his bag and speedwalking out, walking past the drunk bodies, one he can vaguely make out as Chuuya.

All of a sudden, a hand grabs his wrist. "Wait!" Akutagawa calls.

Atsushi turns, confusion visible on his face. It's rare that Akutagawa shows any form of emotion in his voice, but if Atsushi isn't mistaken, there's a hint of desperation in his tone.

Akutagawa hesitates, mouth opening and closing slightly, before sighing lightly and dropping atsushis bony wrist. "Get some breakfast, I can literally feel your individual bones, Jack Skellington"

"Oh, fuck you, asshole" Atsushi scoffs before waltzing off. Just as he always does. And because he's that petty, he doesn't get breakfast.

He does think about it though. What akutagawa said about eating. How he stood up for atsushi against his manager. He honestly doesn't know what part to be more confused about, but he can't afford to focus on either. He has a career. A life. A gift given to him by Dazai, or God, or both. Who knows, who cares.

So he walks by the Uzumaki Cafe, he walks by the Italian restaurant he likes, he even walks by the McDonald's, because he won't give in. No matter the hunger, no matter the pain, nothing feels better than the validation.

As he enters his apartment, he hears the unmistakable sound of kissing. For fucks sake, ofcourse Dazai is in his apartment again.

"Dazai-san!" Atsushi bellows, yanking Dazai off of Sigma. He's genuinely so sick of Dazai using his apartment, when he has his own, perfectly good one!

"Ah, atsushi-kun! Wow, I didn't think you'd be back so early, my apologies" Dazai chirps, detaching his collar from atsushis rough grasp. Sigma, however, just shuffles away, embarrassed.

"What do you mean, this is my apartment, obviously I'd be here?"

"Well, I just assumed you'd still be at akutagawas place, considering his reputation with the people he's known to have hooked up with" Dazai happily says while pouring himself a whiskey. At 9:30am.