Where the light reached

Hanbin held him tightly, his heart racing. Please, let this be enough. Let him feel something other than pain, just for now.

Hao stood frozen in Hanbin’s arms, the warmth of the hug unfamiliar,almost surreal. He couldn't understand it. Hanbin was just a classmate. They’d barely spoken before, exchanged maybe a few glances and polite nods, and yet... here he was. Holding him like he mattered. Speaking to him like he was important. Hao’s mind raced, struggling to make sense of it all. Why is he here? Why does he care? No one else had noticed, no one else had stopped him. Not friends. Not family. Not even himself. But Hanbin had. Hanbin, of all people, was the one who showed up. And not just physically,he showed up with trembling hands and a voice full of fear, calling him my Hao like he meant it. Hao’s heart ached with confusion and something dangerously close to hope. It didn’t make sense. It didn’t have to. All he knew was that in that moment, wrapped in someone’s arms for the first time in what felt like forever... he didn’t feel invisible.

Hanbin felt Hao's arms wrap around him,hesitant at first, but gradually tighter. Hao rested his head on Hanbin’s shoulder and let out a shaky breath.

"Hao... my Hao... I was so scared..." Hanbin whispered, hugging him even more tightly.

To most people, Hao had just been a quiet classmate. But to Hanbin, he was someone kind—someone good. And knowing that if he hadn’t been there tonight, Hao might not have survived,it cut deeper than anything ever had.

When Hao heard Hanbin call him “my Hao”, something in him cracked. No one had ever called him that. No one had ever claimed him,not even in passing.

He clutched Hanbin’s shirt tightly. He could feel the rapid thudding of Hanbin’s heartbeat against his chest.It all felt so geniune like he had never experienced before

Hao closed his eyes and let himself lean into the warmth of someone who genuinely cared.

Hanbin looked down at him, his own eyes red and glassy. He pulled back slightly from the hug,but still held on, not wanting to let go.
In that moment, as Hanbin held Hao in his arms, his thoughts were a chaotic mix of guilt, disbelief, and fierce protectiveness. How had I not seen it? he thought, his chest tightening. Hao had been right there, in the same room, in the same school, walking the same halls,and yet Hanbin had never noticed the pain simmering just beneath the surface. He felt ashamed. Ashamed for laughing through days that must’ve felt unbearable for Hao. For being blind to the quiet signs of someone slowly breaking. I should’ve asked. I should’ve known. The thought that he could’ve lost Hao tonight,without ever truly knowing him,filled him with a cold kind of terror. And now, holding him close, Hanbin made a silent vow: Never again. If he could do anything to keep Hao from ever feeling that alone again, he would. No matter what it took.

“Can we... sit somewhere?” he asked softly.

He couldn't process everything at once. The fact that Hao had been just seconds away from dying. That this moment might not have existed at all if he hadn't returned to school. It was the first time Hanbin had ever been in a situation like this...and it was crushing.

Hao gave a silent nod and glanced up, his grip finally loosening.

“There’s a bench... over there,” he murmured, nodding toward it.

Hanbin gently led him over. They sat down side by side, the silence between them filled with the weight of what just happened. Hanbin watched Hao wrap his arms around himself, shivering slightly in the night air.

He looked over at Hanbin,at the red eyes, the pale face, the way his jaw was clenched to keep himself from breaking down.

"Why...?" Hao asked quietly, his voice still unsteady. “Why are you so worried about me? You don’t even know me…”

Hanbin blinked. “What do you mean...? You’re my classmate, Hao. I care about you..so much.”

Those were the words Hao needed to hear. That someone cared. That someone noticed.

"You care about me?” Hao repeated, voice faint. “But how? We’ve barely even spoken..."

Hanbin met his gaze, still holding back tears. “So what...? We’ve been in the same class for almost two years. We’ve done so much together,as classmates. Sure, we didn’t talk much, but I saw you as a friend. I noticed you.”

His voice cracked slightly, but he kept going.

“You're a good person, Hao. I even told my friend once that you seemed like one of the best people in our class. And now… seeing you like this, it made me realize...”

He swallowed hard. “I’ve been a terrible classmate. I should’ve known. I should’ve spoken to you when I first thought you’d be a great friend. But I got caught up in my own circle and... I never reached out.”

Hao listened in silence. The words hit him like waves, soft but relentless. He could see the guilt in Hanbin’s face,the way it twisted with regret and sorrow. And yet… it also carried something else. Sincerity.

“No, no… It’s not your fault,” Hao said gently. “You couldn’t have known…”

“Hao…” Hanbin whispered.

He tried to stay strong. But he was only an  eighteen year old who grew up so loved that suicide such a foreign concept to him. His hands trembled. His chest ached. And his heart broke at the thought of almost losing someone,this someone.

His hand reached up to cup Hao’s face, as if he was making sure he was real. Still alive.

If he had come a few minutes later...

Hao froze slightly at the sudden touch, then looked into Hanbin’s red, tear-glazed eyes. There was a desperation there,like Hanbin was afraid Hao would vanish if he looked away.

Slowly, Hao raised his own hand and placed it on top of Hanbin’s.

“I’m sorry, Hao... but why... why would you try to-?”

Hanbin couldn’t finish the sentence.

Hao looked down at their hands. He wanted to answer, but the words wouldn’t come. How could he explain pain that deep? How could he burden someone with something so heavy?

Sensing that, Hanbin shook his head slowly. “You don’t have to tell me right now. Just... please. Please don’t try something like this again. Please,I won't ask you for anything else just please consider it”

He gripped Hao’s hand tightly.

“If you ever feel like you’re drowning again... talk to me. I’ll be there. I promise, Hao. Please.”

Hao looked up again, eyes wide. The way Hanbin said that,like he meant it,sent a warmth through his chest he hadn’t felt in years.

He tried to speak, but his voice barely made it out.

“I... I’ll try.”

It wasn’t a promise. But it was something.