JeeYa :- One Sided To Eternity

Chp 20

J E E T

"Will you say something, Nitya?" I asked her unable to bear the silence.

She looked at me and then at my hand that was resting against hers. I was about to take it back but she held it in time, not letting it go.

"Do you know since when I love you?"

"Huh?"

"It isn't some mere infatuation what I feel for you, Jeet. It cannot be a mere infatuation or a mere attraction for good damn 10 years." She said as she locked her gaze with mine.

"It has been 10 years and it has always been you. No one ever dared to touch this heart that became yours the moment I witnessed those blue oceanic orbs."

My eyes widened at her confession. I didn't know this.

"Y- you what? You loved me for these many years? Why?"

"No specific reason as such. And that's why we call it love, isn't it? I never understood when I started admiring you from a far. At first, it was just a mere attraction I supposed. Because, no sane person would chase someone who doesn't believe in love. Call it my luck or something, but I got this information from one of my friends. And that was the first time when I cried the whole night. Honestly, I shouldn't have cried knowing that I was just admiring you from afar, but that's when it hit me, was it just admiration? If yes, then why did my heart broke so bad upon knowing this? I shouldn't have felt like that for a mere admiration towards a person. That was the night when I finally realized that whatever I feel for you isn't just attraction, but something deeper, something more intense than that. Yet, I never dared to label it as love. Until the day, when you got shot for the first time."

This shocked me even more. How did she know got to know about my first attack?

"Shocked, are we? Well, it was dad who was talking to uncle over the call and I just happened to hear the entire conversation while passing by. But guess what, that wasn't it. The news shattered me to the extent that I almost ended up having a panic attack that night. And something weird happened too. For the first time in my entire life, I was scared for someone who didn't even know me. I was worried for someone who didn't belong to my family yet my heart cried for him. It was the first time, when I finally acknowledged my feelings and labelled it as love."

"But why me?"

"Why not you?"

I looked at her whose eyes were on the verge of throwing up. I felt something burning inside my heart. The fact that she loved me for so many years and is still loving me, didn't settle well.

"Nitya, I- I"

"You want reasons, right? Then let me give you some. It was fourth grade when I saw for the first time and got captivated by your oceanic eyes. The second time when I noticed you, it was during your 12th grade when you were leaving the boarding school and I felt a sudden ache in my heart. I don't know why, maybe because, I had started liking to admire you secretly. Then unknowingly, before leaving, you were happened to be the head of the project in which I had unwillingly participated. That 15 days' project period was the best period of my life. You unknowingly helped me. Even had a conversation with me. And that was more than enough for me. But I was just a teen back then. I ignored all those fluttering butterflies within me by naming them as mere attraction. Days passed by, I did my education and then one fateful day, I saw you visiting the old age home. I won't lie, but I was really impressed by your gesture. I felt something again. Then another day, I saw you talking to dad about some deal and I fell for your professionalism. Then at some party, there was this one girl who was throwing herself at you, but you gracefully handled the situation without indulging yourself in some sort of controversy."