13+87=100

TW

⸻

The silence upstairs wasn't the kind of silence Taylor used to enjoy. It wasn't the peaceful kind where the world slowed down and she could breathe. It wasn't the good kind of quiet that came after a long day on tour, wrapped up in Travis's hoodie, her hair damp from a shower, curled up in his arms as the night rolled in.

No. This silence screamed.

She stood barefoot on the cool marble tile of the bathroom, the lights dimmed to a flicker because she hadn't the strength to face the world in full brightness. The mirror didn't show her. Not really. It reflected a stranger with sunken eyes and tremors in her hands. She didn't recognize this version of herself anymore.

She had always been good at putting on a show. At smiling when it burned. At taking the hits: press, heartbreaks, betrayals, illnesses, injuries and spinning them into lyrics, into melodies people tattooed onto their skin. But lately, the spotlight had turned inward and every step felt like walking through water in clothes too heavy to carry.

And so here she was, standing in front of the open medicine cabinet.

Her hand trembled as she stared at the full bottle of antidepressants, prescription label worn from the humidity of too many ignored showers. She opened it and poured the pills into her palm just enough to cover the creases of her hand.

She didn't cry.

She didn't think.

She just swallowed.

One.
Two.
Four.
Seven.
All of them.

And for one horrifyingly silent moment, she stood there.

Waiting.

But as the seconds passed and the weight of what she'd done settled in her chest not just the pills, but the finality something cracked.

The vision of Travis's face. His laugh. His hands on her waist. The way he whispered, "You're stronger than you think, Tay."
The image of Ophelia, her daughter, smiling over pancakes. The giggle of the triplets. The hum of life. The joy that still flickered in the world, however dim.

"I don't want to die," she whispered.

And then louder panicked "I don't want to die!"

Her feet stumbled forward as adrenaline shot through her like fire. She grabbed the edge of the counter, practically flinging herself out of the bathroom, down the hall. Her heartbeat was wild. Her throat burned. Her vision blurred. She could feel the pills starting to pull her under like a current she couldn't swim against.

"Travis!" she screamed, her voice cracking, sobbing now. "TRAVIS!"

She didn't know where he was. Out getting groceries? At the gym? Maybe just downstairs. She didn't remember. She couldn't remember.

The stairs came fast too fast. Her legs buckled halfway down the staircase. Her knees gave out. Her hands clawed at the railing as her body went limp and the world tilted sideways.

"Tra—"

And then there was nothing.

Just darkness.

⸻

Travis had just walked through the door, arms full of takeout containers from Taylor's favorite vegan café. He called out into the house with a grin, "Babe, I got the stuff you like the weird kale rice bowl and those overpriced lemon muffins you pretend are healthy."

No answer.

He frowned, heading to the kitchen and setting the bags down. Something felt...off.

The silence wasn't right.