The Chat Window

It was 3:07 AM.

I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling like it had answers.
You know that feeling when your brain starts overthinking like it's a freelance philosopher with no off-switch?

Yeah. That.

My life was falling apart in slow motion - like a cake dropped in reverse.
Career? Nonexistent.
Relationships? Ghosted so many times, I qualify as a haunted location.
Dreams? Postponed for "technical reasons."

My last Google search was:
"How to unsubscribe from existence without dying."

And somewhere between self-pity and existential crisis #71, I whispered into the void:

"God... are you even up there? Or did you mute Earth?"

And to my absolute horror - and slight curiosity - the ceiling replied.

The Chat Window

I blinked. The room didn't shake. No angelic light. No thunder.

Just a glowing text bubble in mid-air. Like WhatsApp but divine.

God is typing...

"Hey. Finally someone asks something interesting."

My jaw dropped.

"Wait... You're real?!"

"Define real. I exist, but so do your overthinking habits and that imaginary argument you had in the shower five hours ago."

"I-wait, WHAT? Where have you been?"

"Muted the Earth chat. Got too noisy. Wars, influencers, Elon... honestly overwhelming."

"Came back to check messages. Yours was funny. Also kinda sad. But mostly funny."

"So... everything's broken and you just dipped?"

"Technically it was a 'mental health break'. Eternity is exhausting."

"You literally created the universe!"

"Yeah, in a group project. Worst mistake of my existence."

"Chaos insisted on adding mosquitoes for 'balance.'

I rubbed my face. "Okay, wait. Hold on. You're telling me the universe was built by a dysfunctional celestial group project?"

God:

"Correct."

"Okay, then explain this. Why does Time feel like he's gaslighting me? Sometimes an hour flies by, sometimes five minutes feel like a hostage situation."

God:

"Ah. Time."

"Time is emotionally unavailable. He shows up when you're doing nothing, and vanishes when something matters. You'll never find him when you need him, and he'll cling to you when you're just staring at a wall."

"...So I'm not crazy?"

God:

"You are, but not because of Time."

"Just... don't fight him. If time feels slow, pause with it. If it speeds up, chase what made you lose track. That's usually where joy hides."

I nodded slowly, as if that didn't sound like fortune cookie wisdom delivered by a sarcastic immortal.

"Okay. Then what about Entropy? Why does everything fall apart the moment I try to hold it together?"

God: