I just want you to want me too

Rose:

The day has ended so everyone has gone home. I do love all of them, some more than others, but it was starting to get a bit tense when we all were commanded by Natasha and Carrie to watch what they deemed the best episodes of Wild Kratts, and Octonauts. I shan't tell you my opinion.

Rachel and I were currently in her room. The moon and stars were the only light outside. Singers and crickets chirped outside her windows, but they were barely heard as the light singing of Hozier blocked them out. I eerily eyed Rachel as we shook out the many duvets and blankets. With each shake it would reveal a smile from her and a frown from me.

Swing.

Frown.

Swing.

Smile.

"Why do you keep looking at me?" I threw down the layers of warmth. She's been staring at me the whole day and it's not like her normal stares, these ones emanate...warmth? It was a strange thing to see, even stranger coming from Rachel.

"I can't look at you anymore?" Rachel tilted her head, curious.

"You can't look at me like- like-"

"Like, I'm happy?" Rachel raised her brows.

"Yeah!" She stared at me, I stared at her back. Night Rachel looked a lot different from day Rachel. Her face was covered in a green cream, coconut oil eye patches covering her dark circles from the long day, long wavy caramel hair put up in large colorful curlers, and she's wearing a mono-grammed baby pink pajamas. I looked like a mirror to her, but it leads to a different alternate universe, of course. I was angry and my face showed it, the dark circles under my eyes showing my weird genetics only more prominent now than ever. My hair was darker and shiner from the water of my shower and left to rein free on my shoulders and neck. The only thing unusual about my appearance is probably the sage green mono-grammed pajamas and the swipe of green across my cheek from Rachel trying to get me to care about my skin. But to hell with that, my skin should know how to take care of itself.

I sighed and turned away from this new, weirder version of Rachel. I tried to ignore her as I began to pack away my red warlock guitar in its boring black case. I'll have to remember to buy more stickers for it later, or ask Car-

"I read your journal." I froze right there. Could she have figured it out? Surely not, right?

"You what?" I turned to her. The annoyance high in my voice.

"Though it didn't matter whether I did so or not," Ignoring the question, Rachel continued. "I already knew what was in it." No! How could she have figured it out?

"Well what did you expect me to do?" I threw my free hand into the air. "You were eyeing them all day yesterday!" She stopped. Just blinking at me.

"...what...What're you talking about?"

"The socks I'm getting you for Christmas?"

-Blink-

"You said you read it-"

"I meant that you liked Oksana!"

"WHAT?!" I jump back from her, my eyes the size of saucers. My guitar headstock (beast, if you're interested btw) to her neck. She stares boredly at me.

"How do you know that?!" My voice is accusing and slightly shaky. Fuck. She rolls her eyes.

"Like I said, I read your journal." She crosses her arms and tilts her head at me, examining. "Even though you never actually said it, it was obvious with the drawing of her and the song." She pauses and puts her finger on her chin in thought.

"But I wouldn't exactly classify it as that, with the random symbols and occasional scream."

"..."

"Close your mouth, you'll catch flies." She references my dropped jaw. Rachel moves her hand in an attempt to close it but I slam my teeth down, resulting in a clattering sound.

"What do you mean you already knew?"

"Oh you're only at that part of the conversation?" Rachel mocked. "You're awfully obvious. You look smitten with every word she says." She looked like a professor with her hand movements. "And God forbid she looks at you! You'd look like a tomato." She threw her hands in the air. "Like now."

I felt something bubbling up in me, embarrassment and shame...? Rachel's face softened.

"But, that's okay." Rachel playfully punched my arm. My expression went back to one of frustration as I attempted to hide my bubbling feelings.

"Hm." I grunted out.

"So..." Rachel sneaked an arm around my neck. Her arms are strangely cold, unlike her personality right now which was...warm? "How 'bout you tell me what's been going through your mind lately?"

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