Types Of...

1. The Deadly Poop

Okay, you already know this chapter is about to be disgusting.

So if you can't handle it go away, if you can, please continue.

Okay, I call this the deadly poop because when you poop, the smell literally is deadly.

And I know poop stinks naturally, but this one is just over the top.

The smells even follows you around.

There's not enough spray in the world to save your nose from smelling this.

And you may say, "Just courtesy flush."

Well that doesn't freaking work!

Nothing can prevent this!

And it's even worse if you're over your boyfriend's/girlfriend's house and this happens to you.

Or even at your friend's house.

And then when you walk out, you're like, "You might not want to use that for like, 5 years!"

It's just all bad.

2. The Huge Poop

Lol, it's about to get really nasty up in here.

And don't act like this never happened to you before.

Okay, the title is pretty self explanatory, but just read on.

I'm like, so embarrassed to write this, but oh well.

Okay, when you poop, it's really a struggle to get it out because it's so huge!

Then you start making weird constipated faces and you start sweating and wiggling to get it out.

Lol, this is so nasty!

Anyway, once you finally push that boulder out of your tiny butt hole, it plops down in the toilet, and the water splashes on your butt.

It's like, can you not!?

3. The Reoccurring Poop

This has happened to me more times than I can remember, and I'm pretty sure you can relate.

Okay, so you'd be sitting on the toilet, or squatting, and you think it's just going to be a quick poop.

So you wipe yourself, thinking you're done, and as soon as you're about to pull your pants up, or whatever tf you wear, WOOSH!

That was supposed to be a poop sound.

I didn't really execute that very well.

But hopefully you get my point.

It just keeps coming and it's really stressful.

Especially if you're in a rush to go somewhere, and the person you're leaving with is like, "Come on, what are you doing in there?"

Then you're like, "I'm trying!"

Please don't ever try to rush me while I'm pooping.

This kind of stuff really takes time and planning, and you can't and won't mess that up for me.

4. The Liquid Poop

Okay, I don't have much to say on this one, but I just want to say that this is disgusting.

This poop can also be unexpected too.

It usually always is.

You could be sitting in class, or at church, or even in your own room.

And you think that you just have to fart.

So you fart.

Only to find out that you didn't fart, but you did in fact sharted on yourself.

Like, how rude, you know?

This is the most disrespectful poop ever.

Then you try to stay away from everyone the whole day and can't wait to go home and shower.

5. The Multi Colored Poop

Pretty sure everyone has these poops.

Whether it's red, yellow, green, or brown, your poop has a color.

Brown poop is pretty normal and stinky.

Green poop is not unusual, but it's not normal either.

I've never had yellow poop before, but if you have, you probably need to see a doctor because that shit ain't normal.

Now red poop is like, the worst.

You usually only poop red when you eat something spicy.

I eat hot cheetos all the time, so this often happens to me.

Sometimes red poop can be spicy and burn your butt.

:)

Isn't that just the best though?

I'm going to stop typing now.

I've revealed more about myself than necessary.

Bye.