Josh Washington x Reader

This year has been hell for Josh. I've just come to terms- after seven months- with the death of Beth and Hanna. Josh took it harder and why wouldn't he they were his sisters; so I was going help him through it. I set up some counselling sessions which took forever it seemed and I also made him get some medication for the reason that he would hallucinate things. It got so bad that he started having night terrors; I would always sleep over so that he wouldn't be alone. His parents actually requested me to sleep over and told me to make sure that he keeps taking his meds. They didn't know what to do they took time off work to be by him but he would just get agitated and start freaking out, so they called me and as soon as I showed up he would calm down and cling to me like a child

Though after he took his pills more often he calmed down and was back to normal but still clung to me for the reason that he didn't want me to slip away like his sisters did. Every day Josh would remind me how much he loves me and how he appreciates me in his life. It pained me seeing him like this, he is the best thing in my life and if the tables were turned I know Josh would be right there for me. Though the anniversary of their deaths was coming up in about a month and I don't know how we were going to deal with it. I just have to make sure that Josh wasn't reminded of it and if he was I would distract him from it so that he didn't have to relive it. Though he seems to be a little bit more distant with me lately, he barely looks me in the eyes and whenever I ask him I he wants me to come over that day he says that he's actually going to go see distant family. When he says this he doesn't look me in the face and fidgets the whole time. After about the fifth time I just got irritated and wouldn't really speak to him the whole day. He noticed but didn't say anything he just kept clinging to me like always but I would only half give him my attention, if he can't even tell me the real reason then I guess we have nothing to talk about.

Getting a little worried my mind drifted to placed I hoped I would never go to. Was he cheating on me? No he would never do that to me.. Or would he? Does he not want me around? He wants to break up with me right? Getting upset I could feel tears threatening to fall but I just blinked them away. Josh quickly told me he had to go to the bathroom, looking away so that he didn't see me getting all worked up I just nodded and I could hear him walk off. I felt something vibrating by my leg, trying to find the source, it was Josh's phone, looking through it there were some text messages from Chris and some from Sam. I decided to keep snooping and thus resulting in me finding out that his so called "family get away" was all a lie and he had actually planned for everyone- well mostly everyone- to go up to the lodge for the anniversary. Everyone said yes but when I kept going through his phone he talked to Sam and Chris more about his feelings than he did with me. Feeling hurt I put down the phone not wanting to read anymore. I understood, I wasn't enough which is understandable but it hurt knowing that he couldn't talk to me about his feelings. Deciding that I couldn't take it anymore I got up from the couch and started to gather up my stuff.

"Y/n? Why are you gathering up your stuff? Are you okay?

"I'm fine! I just need to go home"

"Go home" he looked at me with such sad eyes "But why do you look like you're about to cry"

I couldn't look at him, I wouldn't, if he doesn't feeling like he can talk to me than I wouldn't talk to him. I was headed for the door before Josh caught my hand and tugged on it softly; fine if he wanted to know so badly ill just tell him.

"Your phone was buzzing so I checked it out to see maybe if it was your parents but it was Sam and Chris saying that they thought it was good for that "family get away"" I said with air quotes around the family get away. He goes ridged and gives me sympathetic eyes, he tightens his grip on my hand a little and looks at his feet.

"I was going to tell you"

"When? When it was all over? When I caught you like today? You know I was there I tried to help. They were my friends too." tears were spilling down my cheeks now. Pulling my hand away from his I turned around trying to wipe up the tears. I could feel his chest on my back and step forward not wanting to be near him right now. Though the tears kept going, I started hiccupping but tried to hold them in but couldn't this time Josh put his arms around me, needing it at that moment I didn't push his away.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know if you would be able to handle it. You were the only one that actually saw them... saw them die", turning around I could see that he was battling with himself with the sadness. I couldn't take it I brought him into an embrace squeezing him. He returns the embrace and places a kiss on top of my head.

"And I know if I did tell you, you would want to go but I don't think I could handle seeing you sad again that's why I didn't want you to come so that I could protect you"

"Sorry I'm to stubborn you know me. Thank you, but like you said I would go, you want to protect me well let me protect you after everything you need someone who will be there for you at all times." I stand on my tippytoes and place a small kiss upon his lips.

"How did I get so lucky to have you in my life" he smiles that goofy smile I missed so much. I just place my head into his chest and listen to his heart. It seemed pretty steady. He moves his head down and into my hair though he murmurs something that I can't quite make out what he says but when he says it his heart beat quickens a little. Though my ears think they heard 'I will protect you from everything'.

Authors note

Hey everyone so I've seen your awesome comments about how you love the story and I'm really glad! You all are awesome for reading this and enjoying it! Sorry that it's short my computer is being ominous right now so I just need to check it out. I may or may not update again today depending if I can see what's going on. Alright have fun reading and I'll see you later!