Invisible Me

My father smiles broadly. My mother is on the sofa, staring into space. The TV show is back, with no sound. And I'm just hanging around.

"How ya' doing, Sweetie?"

"Great. Can you put me down now?"

My Dad laughs and twirls me around so my legs fly out, then he lowers me gently to the floor. My face is red. I'm not in kindergarten, I want to shout. I bite my tongue instead. Something about his treating me like a child appeals to me. Kinda. And it makes me feel very uncomfortable.

We are like strangers at a party. We have a connection but we don't have anything to say to each other.

He tousles my hair. This is what passes for conversation. "Mom, did you get Denise's number?"

She's staring at the silent TV. The sound of my voice brings her back. She snaps out of it and reaches for the phone. She enters the number and hands me the phone, then returns to zombie mode.

"Mom, are you okay?"

She blinks a few times. Is she going to cry? "I'm fine, honey."

She looks away. I swear to God, it looks like she's going to cry.

• • •

I go to my room, feeling awful. What the hell is going on with my parents? Why is my Mom maybe crying? What does my Dad need to tell me? Why can't anything go right in my life, ever?

I dial Denise. Now my number will be on her caller ID. She answers on the second ring, sounding at her wit's end.

"Portia? Is that you?"

"Yeah. Hi, it's me."

"I need your help. Tomorrow. Okay?"

"What's going on?"

"It's Randy. I think he's going to meet Kathleen. I need you to follow him again."

I start to protest. I'm supposed to see a movie with Judy. I think about the birthday party. How can I juggle and do this? Maybe Judy won't mind if we reschedule. Maybe I can do both.

"Portia? Are you there?"

"I'm here. I hadn't planned on this."

"Oh, Portia," Denise whines. "I'll owe you big time, if you do me this favor. Please."

Excuse me. The most popular girl in school is begging me for a favor? And will owe me big time if I give it to her?

Who am I to deny her, right?