The Cullen Project *Editing*

Chapter 10

"You all would have known about me, my mother probably wouldn't be missing, and we would all be a happy family." I finished that thought for him, relaxed in the idea of how happy that sounded, and then moved on.

"But that's not how it happened, and focusing on the past does nothing for us now. It's a lovely thought but it's impossible now. You shouldn't blame yourself. I'm sure she wouldn't." I smiled at him and he hugged me so tight I thought he might break my neck.

"You're extraordinary." He smiled brightly at me.

"Jasper, Hun, 2 minuets." Alice poked her head out and smiled at our interaction.

"If you'll excuse me." He smiled and followed Alice inside.

Deep breaths Elizabeth, deep breaths.

*

Edward POV

My excitement soared as I raced home.

My family wants me home, they actually want to spend time with me, I still can't believe it.

I don't even want to spend time with myself.

No Edward. Stop with the self hate. You're here to fix yourself not to make things worst.

I rushed up to the door and hesitated momentarily, in that same instant Esme opened the door and threw herself into my arms.

"Oh! My boy! Edward dear, we're so glad you're here!" She laughed as I swung her around happily.

"I'm happy to be home too mom, but squeezing me to death may not be the answer." I laughed and she let go of me immediately and pulled me inside.

I thought I saw something big and rusty out of the corner of my eye but before I could think too much about it my family swarmed me.

Alice and Rosalie both latched onto me, smiling and giggling the whole time, while Emmet and Jasper both messed with my hair and picked on me.

"It's nice to see you all too." I smiled, letting this happiness sink into my every thought.

"Son." Carlisle smiled, opening his arms wide.

I immediately ran to him and threw my arms around him and hugged as tight as I possibly could. He stumbled back in shock and then hugged me back just as tight.

"Thank you." I spoke quietly, so the others wouldn't hear.

A flash of a camera went off and Carlisle pulled back, smiling at me like nothing had ever happened. I love my family.

"So, Edward, how was your trip home?" Esme asked.

"Good. I had let myself get too thirsty, the hunting did a lot of good, I'm so happy to be home." I smiled and her eyes melted.

"We're glad you're home son. It was time." Carlisle put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

"Oh, I should've been back a long time ago. I feel so horrible the way I've treated you all for so long." I sighed.

"Enough of that, let's talk." Alice skipped forward and grabbed my arm, hugging it tightly.

"Are you going to be alright here?" She asked.

"I'll be okay. I've got to come to terms with things. It's about time I do that. For Bella's sake at least."

Saying her name out loud hurt. It hurt a lot. I didn't mean for my voice to crack or my face to grimace in pain in front of my family, but it did, and they definitely saw it.

"Oh, Edward, it will be okay. I'm sure she's happy wherever she is. It's not like you were the type of boy to just use her and leave." Alice dismissed and went to Jaspers side.

Use her?

Use her.

Oh my god, does Alice know? Of course I would never have just used Bella! I didn't even want to touch her for fear of hurting her, but it was her birthday...and she was just so tempting...

Edward stop thinking about that night. You promised yourself that that night was your goodbye. It didn't mean anything to her, not near as much as it meant to you.

"Edward? You okay?" Alice glared at me.

"What do you know." I demanded.

"Just the aftermath, not the details. I just want to know if you did what we think you did." Alice shrugged.

I took a deep breath, and prepared myself for my families hatred.

"Yes." I sighed.

"Well, that's conformation enough for me." Carlisle smiled and left out the back door behind me.

A stab of pain went through me when he left. Is he ashamed of me? Is this it? Is this the thing that pushes him over the edge? The thing that finally shows him how truly terrible I am?

"How did you find out?" I asked, suddenly remembering that I slept with Bella nearly eighteen years ago. How would Alice know that? She sees the future, not the past.

"Through me." A sweet, velvety voice spoke behind me.