RANDOM!!!!!!!

(I'm not held responsible if someone slaps you; but if they do make sure you slap them back!)

~~~I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

~~~Right now I'm sitting here looking at you trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

~~~A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! yes you!! YOU CAN KISS MY ASS**

~~~If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do you wear a bra??!

 ~~~Mirrors don't talk but lucky for you %n they don't laugh

~~~Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't wanna be mean, but you need Listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole friggin bottle

~~~People like you are the reason I'm on medication.

~~~Don't piss me off today, I'm running out of places to hide all the bodies

~~~I have always wondered why people bang their heads against brick walls..... then I met you.

~~~Don't bother leaving a message after the beep, ill just delete it anyway

~~~Don't let your mind wander. It's way to small to be outside by itself!

~~~I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.

~~~Hey, Remember that time I told you I thought you were cool? Yeah I don't either.

~~~I need you...........I want you............To get out of my face

~~~Damn not you again.......

~~~Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege.

~~~If I wanted to talk to you, I would have called you first.

~~~I am not anti-social... I just don't like you

~~~If you're gonna act like a dick you should wear a condom on your head so you can at least look like one !!!

~~~Hmm...I don't know what your problem is...but I'm going to bet it's really hard to pronounce...

~~~There are some very stupid people in this world. You've just helped me realize that.

~~~Until you called me I couldn't remember the last time I wanted somebody's fingers to break so badly.

~~~Wow, you looked a lot hotter from a distance!

~~~Cancel my subscriptions ... I'm tired of your issues.

~~~I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet!!!

~~~Earth is full. Go home.

~~~If I could be one person for a day, it sure as hell wouldn't be you.

~~~Hey, here's a hint. If I don't answer you the first 25 times, what makes you think the next 25 will work?

~~~How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you...

~~~Oh dear! Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!

~~~What's that ugly thing growing out of your neck... Oh... It's your head...

~~~I'm sorry, Talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.

~~~Oh I'm sorry, how many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby?

~~~Don't hate me because I'm beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.

~~~I'm not mean ... you're just a sissy.

~~~Sorry I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you.

~~~Why don't you go outside any play, hide and go f**k yourself

~~~Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone

~~~How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up? I'm away live with it.

~~~FOR THE LAST TIME! Your mother left here at 9 this morning... Leave me alone!

~~~Let's see, I've walked the dog, cleaned my room, gone shopping and gossiped with my friends...Nope, this list doesn't say that I'm required to talk to you.

~~~When you were born you were so ugly that instead of slapping you, the doctor slapped your mom!

~~~My Mom said never talk to strangers and well, since you're really strange.... I guess that means I can't talk to you!

~~~Forget the ugly stick! you must have been born in the ugly forest!

~~~I really don't like you but if you really must leave a message, I'll be nice and at least pretend to care.

~~~You know the drill! You leave a message....I ignore it!

~~~The Village just called. They said they were missing their town idiot, I couldn't really understand them, but I think they were saying you're name...

~~~I'm not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!!!

~~~Why are you bothering me? I have my away message on cause I don't want to listen to you and your stupid nonsense.

~~~You don't know me, you just wish you did.

~~~Hey- I am away from my computer but in the meantime, why don't you go play in traffic?!

~~~You have your whole life to be a jerk....so why don't you take a day off so.. leave me a message for when I get back!!!!