What if it wasn't a love story

It's Sunday . Not so sunny but it's still sunday. And what day comes next ? Monday . I'm so excited for tomorrow . I'm not excited for school specifically but I'm excited to see Kierra , I'm excited to talk to her , I'm excited to ask for her number , I'm just SO EXCITED god knows why .

I have nothing to do today , and mom isn't home so I decide to open the box where I put all of my writings , and all of my memories .
When I was 14 , I used to write in a notebook all of my thoughts . I used to write poems about myself , about sadness . I was so confused . I think that every teenager may go through a period of time where he feels lost and unhappy.

I open the notebook and start reading loudly :

Some people have it all
Parents , objects , sibblings , affection  ..
Some people just don't have it all
I never met my father
I never met my blood
I never met the man who was supposed to raise me
I never met the man who was supposed to teach me
I never met the man who was supposed to love me
Oh sorry I can't even call him a "'man"
I never met the guy who broke the heart of my mother
I never met that guy who hurt my favorite woman
I never met this pusillanimous guy who left my queen all alone
Good for him because if i had met him
I would have teared his heart ...
If he had any.

I close the notebook and put it back in the box . I really don't feel like thinking about my dad right now .Not now , not tomorrow, never .

I turn on the TV and the DVD player and watch this movie named " The impossible " . It's a nice drama movie , that proofs you that the love of the members of a family can be strong enough to help them pass all the obstacles they need to pass to be reunited again. I watched that movies over a thousand times. It's maybe my all time favorite . It's like a reminder that not all of the families split or will surely split . & that even if they go through things , they can emerge stronger and better .

--------------------------------------------------

On Monday , I wake up full of energy. I eat my breakfast with my mom as usual , and I apologize for my behaviour with Georges .
She kisses me on my cheek and I leave for school.
When I arrive , all my classmates seem to be leaving . I see Kierra sitting with a friend on a bench so I run toward her and ask her:

"What's going on? Why are they all leaving?"
"Our english teacher is sick , we've been told that we can leave , go home and come back at ten o'clock."

" Do you want to go for a walk? " I ask .

She whispers something to her friend's ear and looks at me . "Sure , let's go".

We make our way outside the school and I ask her " So who's your friend ?I think that she's in my poetry class"

" Best friend " , she corrects me ," her name is Sky , and yeah I think she is ."

" Cool , do you guys have any class together?"

" Yeah . We actually have french , biology and math together . Now let's stop talking about me and start talking about you . I barely know a thing about you."

I don't feel like answering her questions now . I don't even feel like talking to her about my life already . I'm not ready yet .

" Not yet."

" Oh really ? So you can know anything about me but I can't know a single thing about you? I know that I said that last time at the restaurant but now it's really driving me crazy ."

I laugh . " Crazy girls are the wildest."

" So do you want me to be wild ?"

" Why not ."

" You're so weird ."

" Am I?"

" You so are."

" Are you sure?"

She giggles and slaps me on my shoulder.

" You're not just wild girl . You're violent too ."

I smile . She doesn't smile back . I can tell that she's angry . But as soon as my smile fades she starts giggling again . Damn she's so cute .

I put my hands around her and hug her . We're not romantically hugging though. We're hugging and giggling like crazy people . Crazy people.

Then she lets go and takes a deep breath .
We walk silently for few minutes . I'm wondering if she thinks that I'm a complete asshole . I actually hate when she's quiet because her silence doesn't speak louder than her words . Her silence either whispers at a low voice that I can't even hear or it doesn't speak at all .

" Now seriously Matthew , Why don't you want to tell me who you are ? or at least what's your life like ? do you have any sibblings? "

" Because I just ....."

I don't continue my sentence . I just stop looking at her and take a deep breath .

She looks into my eyes . This eye contact she's doing is so strong that it hurts . My eyes hurt . I break the gaze and look away because I'm not strong enough to look at her right now .

" Fine , don't tell me why . Don't tell me who you are . Don't even let me discover who you are by giving me hints . I think that your lungs and your spine protect your heart enough from damages but you just keep building more fortifications around it and never let me know what's inside."

Then she looks at me one last time and runs
away. I don't retain her . I just stand there like a statue in the middle of a deserted park .