Deadpool Syndrome - Marvel's Folly

***GWEN***

When Peter's forced to sign off from his end of our conversation, the effect in the real world is beyond disconcerting. His body is totally still, and without his voice, it's not so easy to forget he's dead anymore.

Okay...that sounded only marginally better in my head. And it never even left my head. The point is, I want Peter back more than ever. Absence makes the the heart grow fonder, but this is something a little more permanent.

"It'll be all right," Wanda says. "I'm sure he'll be back. And I'm sure you'll move on. Eventually."

I smile weakly. "Speaking from experience?"

She shakes her head. "No, not really. It's hard to date when all you hear is the subtext in the guy's thoughts."

"Let me guess," Kitty says with a barely-stifled chuckle. "'Sex? Sex! Help!'"

"No, it's less about sex than you would think," Wanda says with a wink. "More about, 'Mmm, remember Babushka's pirogi? Can this girl learn the recipe? Oh shit, what was her name again? Katya? Olga? Maria?'" She rolls her eyes. "I hear those thoughts, and mine is, 'I'm so not ready for that kind of commitment.'"

Kitty and I can't help but laugh. It's only fleeting, though, because before long, Deadpool comes tearing through the door, panting so hard he can't even talk.

Well, that can't be good.

The other ladies and I exchange worried glances, then I turn to Deadpool and ask in the most would-be calm voice I can manage, "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing," Deadpool says, equally unruffled - or, at least, so he wants us to believe. "I just...I needed to get the hell away from Wolverine."

"Why is it always that guy?" Wanda asks.

Deadpool leans against the wall and taps one boot on the floor repeatedly in some rhythm I don't have the time or patience to identify. "He's just butthurt that he's no longer the only one around here who can't die, is all."

"He's not chasing you, is he?" Kitty asks warily.

"Pfft, no." Whether or not this is true, that doesn't stop Deadpool from peering nervously up the steps leading away from the lab. I only see he's nervous because of the way his mask's eyeholes widen. Chalk up another disconcerting moment for the list. "Besides," he adds, "I kinda wanted to talk to our dead friend for a bit."

Wanda raises her eyebrows. "We actually just finished our séance not two minutes ago," she says. "You should let us know next time so we can coordinate schedules and invite you."

"You're not serious?"

I'm not sure if I should speak up and confirm that Wanda's confession isn't sarcastic in the slightest. Kitty, however, has no problem doing so herself. "It's true. Peter's got some way of talking from the afterlife or something."

Deadpool's eyeholes widen even further. "OMG! Ricky, are you hearing this?" No response - none that I can hear, anyway. Of course, given that Peter's with Ricky, the latter's probably also incommunicado at the moment. Me, I'd consider that a good thing. Honestly, if I were to hear Ricky's voice again, I'd go thermonuclear, more than likely. As much as he's been going on about how he's just the storyteller and not the writer, that's just bullshit. Fanfiction or not, he's taken control of this particular incarnation of me and Peter and everyone else, so any and all blame for anything that goes wrong can rest squarely on his shoulders as far as I'm concerned. They can probably take the load, too. I remember, from the time he showed himself on Pier 39, that he's got broad shoulders.