Reverse Falls (Gravity Falls AU)

Pacifica

Me and Gideon snuck into the mini golf course at about 11:30 PM after crawling under a fence post Grunkle Stan pried away.
"13th try!" I took a deep breath.
"You can do this, Pacifica!" Gideon said. I brought him along for the moral support, and the fact I felt a lot safer not being left alone with a 14 year old sadistic serial killer with a magical amulet and knives.
I set down the golf ball and swung at it with golf club, and it went into the wind-mill, then came back out on the other side. It rolled out, missing the hole and bumping against the edge before stopping.
"Ugh!" I threw down the club. "Are you kidding? Where's Sergei when I need him?!"
"Maybe something is broken." Gideon suggested, walking over to the windmill. "Help me pry it open."
"I'm not sure. Then wouldn't it be both breaking and entering?" I asked. "Besides, Mabel got it with no problem. I'm just a failure."
"No. Maybe she was using her amulet?"
"I would have noticed." I sighed.
"Well, there's something broken." Gideon said. "You won pretty much every mini-golf tournament in California. It has to be broken."
"Fine, we'll look." Picking up my golf club, I walked over to the windmill and pried the top board off after wedging my golf club in it. Finally, it broke off, and I threw it aside, then peered in.
"Okay, what's in....here?" My eyes widened. "Gideon!"
"Yeah?" He came over. "What is it? Dead body?"
"Look." I pointed into the windmill's interior. "There's little golf ball people!"
"Pacifica, you're being ridicu-WHAT THE HECK?!" Gideon looked inside, and screamed.
I just stood there, stunned as I looked down at the tiny golf ball people who were also screaming, who were golf balls with faces and bodies wearing Dutch clothing.
Eventually, their and Gideon's screaming stopped, and we all just stared at each other, bewildered.
"O-okay, are we all calmed down?" One of the male Dutch golf balls stepped up. "I-I'm Franz, and we're Lilliputtians! The name makes more sense written out. And we control the golf balls!" He pointed to where there was a track with different cranks and turnstiles.
"Wow!" Gideon gasped.
"Shucks, it's only our lifelong passion! Would you like us to elaborate through song?"
"Ah, no thanks." I said.
"So why are you hugelings here anyways?" Franz asked.
"Well, I have to play a golf tournament against my rival, Mabel." I explained.
The Lilliputtians started whispering amongst themselves.
"Oh, we know all about rivals." Franz said, his mood changing from welcoming to grumpy.
"Put a clog in it, ya windmill lubbers!" We turned around to see more golf ball people at the pirate ship hole. "These frilly poppinjays are terrible at controlling the balls! We are the ball masters!"
"Shut your mouths! Everyone knows ze Eiffel Tower hole is ze best!" We turned again to the Eiffel Tower hole, where French golf balls were gathered.
"Stay your comments, churlish Frenchmen! None control the balls better than the knights of..." On the castle hole, a golf ball knight removed his helmet. "Dipper Goes To Taco Bell Castle?" He pointed at the graffitti Wendy has made earlier on the castle. "Who wrote this?"
"We'll settle who's best! Charge!" Franz pointed out to the outside, and they came out of the windmill, while the other Lilliputtians came out of their holes, screaming and running at each other.
"Well, that's the moment of the day." Gideon said as we watched them fight.
"I had no idea golf balls could bleed!" I laughed, as I pulled out my camera. "Scrapbook-ortunity!"
"Pacifica!" Gideon took away my camera and stuffed it in his camera. "Guys, guys calm down. Your fighting is kinda adorable."
Franz limped over, bruised. "Adorable we are, but every hole thinks their hole is the best. If only there was some way to decide who was the best."
"Look!" A French Lilliputtian pointed to where Mabel was standing in the parking lot. "The jewel on her head is so shiny!"
"The jewel can decide!" Franz exclaimed.
"Pick a hole to give it to, and end our war!" A Medieval Lilliputian said.
"Um, I'm not sure. It isn't exactly mine to give-" I started to explain, but Gideon pulled me away for a second.
"This is perfect, Pacifica! These guys control the course!" He whispered. "Just give the amulet to whoever helps you win!"
"It's not exactly mine, it's Mabel's. Besides, wouldn't it be cheating?" I asked.
"She's cheating at life with that amulet." Gideon said. "Besides, they're golf balls. What harm could they do with an amulet?"
"But she is Dipper's sister-"
"It's now or never, Pacifica. Mabel's going to come in at any moment."
I sighed. "Fine."
We turned toward the golf ball people, and I took a deep breath. "Everybody! Or every golf ball I guess. We're going to have a game of mini golf! Whoever does the best helping me, wins the amu-I mean, jewel! Just remember, no fighting." I pointed to two golf balls who were about to punch each other.