Cleo

I wake up startled as I see the time on the clock and practically fly out of bed forgetting whatever nightmare that had haunted me the night before.

As I stood up I felt as if something had changed, I don't know if it was in the room or if it was just me but something was different, nothing was as it seemed the night before, it was as If something had changed and not in a good way, I snuck down the stairs to get some food, and turned the corner fully expecting to find my father passed out on the couch from the amount of alcohol that he would have consumed the night before.

To my surprise he wasn't there but I wouldn't venture into his room to see if he was here, I had learnt the day I turned 15 not to venture into his room uninvited, I brush away the memory and rush to get ready for school packing my small bag with the only 2 things that keep me sane, my music and my sketchpad, I knew this was going to be a long day.

I put in my earphones and avoid everything and everyone as I board the bus, I didn't want to run into Grayson so I kept my head down and made sure to not look at anyone, I didn't want to get close to anyone ever again, its senior year, I can avoid everyone for the last few months right?

As I walked through the gates it felt as if time had stopped as I took in every detail of the normal teenage life, the clichés were followed more loosely than you would think in this school but they were still there, the jocks  stood against their shiny cars they wolf whistled at the slutty girls pushed out their chests and oozed confidence in how fake they were and the shy ones avoided the crowds of people, living their lives in silence as the days passed, nothing out of the ordinary happened and life went on as I stayed in the background, unheard, unseen and barely living.

The day passed like a blur, I was numb and the lack of sleep was finally getting to me after all these years, nightmares haunted my sleeping hours and all the days brought was the feeling of how truly numb I had become.

I walked down the hallway and found myself walking towards him. Grayson, he held an ominous look in his eyes, he looked anxious as if he knew something bad was about to happen, his eyes seemed to be glazed as if he was somewhere else, he snapped out of his trance and looked straight into my eyes and strode forward power radiating off of him, the hallways were now empty, with 2 more steps he was in front of me, he had an aura that made me antsy, the close proximity made me dizzy, I looked down, his hard gaze on mine was way too much to handle, I looked down feeling intimidated but I could feel that he was still staring at me, he hadn't said anything, he just held his gaze.

How close we are is a blessing and, but I can't think straight, I need to move, I start stepping backwards but he moves with me until I'm backed up against the lockers, he tilts my chin up and makes me look into his eyes, I can't pull away, I don't want to, his eyes are captivating, the green almost seemed darker as if he was trying to hold in what he was feeling, but eyes don't lie and the anger swirled in his iris' and there was no denying it.

He stared into my eyes for what felt like hours but was only minutes or seconds, he leaned in closer, not in a sensual way, it was as if he was trying to read me, I couldn't let that happen, I forcefully pulled away and ran, in that moment I didn't care about school or anything, I had come this far alone I couldn't make any new connections now, love has never lasted and it never will.

I ran out the doors and down the steps, "Cleo!" Grayson yells, chasing after me, "no!" I scream, "leave me alone." I whimper as I keep running, his footsteps subside but I keep running, I know that he couldn't have heard me, from that distance, it...it was impossible.

I ran all the way home with tears streaming down my face, I don't need anyone, I don't, all I needed was my mum and she was gone, buried with the rest of my family back in Australia and all I had left of her was a small wooden box that she had left for me, I hadn't touched it, not yet, I was waiting until I couldn't handle any more and I needed her.

I know that my life is a living hell but I'm not ready to give it up yet, I need to know what it all means, the nightmares the necklace, I know that my mother didn't die the way I was told, she had left a message and I was going to live, to find out what it means or die trying.

I take the box out from under my bed, and place it in my lap, its time.

•10th of July 2016•