Not Without You

Phil's POV

My eyes slowly adjusted to the bright lights around me.

It didn't work

Was the first thing to cross my mind. Everyone was going to hate me.

And I'd have no Dan.

I'd just try again.

I heard the chatter of voices around me I could just about make out Louise's Pink hair and Pj's Curls.

A very recognizable voice said something from the left side of me I looked and there was someone in the bed next to me.

"He's waking up!" I heard PJ call from his chair.

I heard a buzz that I assumed was a call for a nurse.

My eyes fully adjusted and I could see who was in the room.

My mom, Dans mom, PJ, Chris, Louise and Zoe.

And Dan was in the bed next to me.

I tried to sit up hastily but someone held me down.

"You don't have the strength Phil. Just relax" Louise said as I noticed she was the one keeping me down.

I had tubes and all sorts of things connected to my arms and some sort of tube by my face. It was like I was tangled in webs.

Everyone smiled at me when I looked at them but it was a sad smile.

"What happened?" I tried to ask when a person who I assumed was a nurse walked in the door.

"Philip Its good to see you awake. How are you feeling?" Her voice was sweet.

"Tired" I fought to keep my eyes open in case I fell asleep again.

"Understandable" She continued to ask questions after that. I answered them all. She took out some of the tubes I was connected to.

When she left I heard someone talk beside me.

"She asked me the same questions when I woke up." It was Dan. He was less wired up than I was but still connected to the bed. "She'll ask you them for the next couple days as well."

I nodded, now looking at him. His hair was natural and curly and he looked very tired.

"I-I... What happened?" I mumbled out, turning my head back to everyone in the chairs.

"Oh Phil you and Dan were in a cab and there was a collision with a drunk driver. Everyone else was fine. Minor cut, bruises, maybe a broken bone. But you and Dan were knocked out cold. You've been in A&E for about a week. We didn't think you'd ever get up." My mum explained.

"S-so everything that happened. Th-That was all in my h-head?" I asked looking to Dan. He looked at me strangely.

"What happened i-in your dream?" Dan asked me.

I explained everything that had happened that I remembered and Dan just nodded like he knew what I was talking about.

"And that's it really. After that I woke up here." Dan shook his head in disbelief.

"I had the exact same dream," He said slowly, "In my Point of view of course but it was pretty much the same."

I shook my head "That's impossible" I whispered, Everybody looked at us like we were crazy.

"You must've woken up a-after you d-d..." I couldn't finish the sentence.

"Yeah. And you after you..." He trailed of. also not wanting to finish his sentence.

We stared at each other for a while when suddenly a different nurse came in and ushered everyone out insisting that me and Dan needed rest.

I couldn't stop watching Dan. I had just witnessed him die and then killed myself and woke up to find it had all happened in my head.

It had felt so real but now that I looked back on it everything was jumbled and didn't make sense. Like how after Jenny was caught by the police we didn't seem to mention her again. Or how Youtube or the fans were barely mentioned at all.

It hurt my brain to think about it.

We were brought food which was terrible as hospital food usually is but I was starving so I ate most of it anyway. Dan didn't eat as much but he still ate a healthy amount. He must have eaten before. He was awake before me anyway.

"So how long were you awake before I woke up?" I asked after a long period of silence. Dan was staring at the ceiling. I was still watching him.

"2 Days," He said quietly, "I had to watch you lay there lifeless for 2 Days and I couldn't do anything to help you."

His voice cracked softly. I turned my head to also watch the ceiling.

I started to count the ceiling tiles, mumbling the numbers to myself softly.

"There's 78 and a half. I've counted 5 times." Dan sat up and reached for his phone and started doing something. He was probably on tumblr or something.

"Do you think we'd get in trouble for playing music?" I questioned absent mindedly.

"Probably not if we played it really quietly. Do you wanna find out?"

I nodded my head and Dan turned on some song by muse just loud enough for us to hear it.

***

About a week later the two were let out of the hospital and able to go home. It was a huge wave of relief to walk into the familiar flat and not have to actually deal with all that had happened while they were unconscious.

Dan had made sure to have Louise stop by and clean up the place a bit before they came home so they wouldn't have to worry about it when they were still recovering from everything.

They had always loved Louise and she was happy to help out whenever she could. They felt so lucky they had her as a friend.

2 months after everything that had happened Phil came out to everyone as Gay through a short 2 minute video on his YouTube channel. Everyone was more than accepting and it was very relieving. He was very excited to finally be truly himself.

Dan came out as Pansexual a couple years after Phil did. He had always struggled with himself and his identity more than Phil but Phil was happy to help his Best friend and his Newly declared boyfriend through everything.

It seemed very cliché but this was what happened and maybe a bit of cliché was okay. And that was that.

Okay!! So that was the last chapter! woop! There will be an epilogue though because I have a great idea for it and I think it's gonna make you cry anyway I hope you enjoyed this silly little book gah I had so much fun writing this anyway stay tuned for the epilogue!!! (How did this even get this far wow)