Ambivalence [p.h.] - EDITING

A/N I know I sorta missed last week but I gave you an early update. Oh well. But WOAH guys thanks for 1K reads!!! Bonjour Peter's parents...

When I wake up, I realize I'm propped up against the wall, and my head is resting upon another body. I can remember last night's events crystal clearly, but shiver at the thought of it. If only I could convince myself it was a dream. I don't bother waking Peter yet, but go straight to the infirmary. I can tell it's past 6:30 once Verity shoots me a sympathetic smile. She then steps to the side to give me a clear view of my ex-best friend.

Edward is awake in his cot, holding on to Myra's hands so tightly his veins might burst. They've fixed up a bandage for his eye, but I assume they had to perform some sort of surgery or call in some Erudite doctors. I take a deep breath before gently lowering myself into the visitor's seat next to Myra. She looks at me and sends a weak smile through tear streaked cheeks and whispers to her boyfriend. His remaining eye flies open and focuses on me. I don't hesitate to speak.

"Hi Eddie," I say, surprised that my voice still works. "How are you doing? You know, aside from that whole thing." He just grimaces.

"It hurts like hell, Jax. It really does. This is big." He takes a breath and turns his head to face Myra, though still talking to me. "I've decided," he continues, "To tell Eric that I will not be continuing initiation." I clamp a hand over my mouth.

"You mean... you're leaving?" Myra nods. "Eddie..."

"Don't say anything," he cuts me off. "We'll be alright. I got her, and she has me. We'll be okay." I hear myself sniffle and just realize the tears beginning to trickle down my face. "Listen, Jax... I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for being so rude, and mean, and if anybody knows how much this," he explains, gesturing to his eye, "Hurts, it's gotta be you. An apology probably won't do anything, but I really am sorry."

"It's okay, Eddie," I say. "I forgive you. I can get Eric if you want. You can leave as soon as you're packed."

"Thank you, for everything Jax. I'll miss you. Say hi to mum and Ansel for me. If they come, that is."

"Of course," I sob. "I'll miss you too. Good luck."

• • •

Needless to say, Eric was pretty frustrated that I woke him up. Eddie's packed, and he and Myra left at noon. Today is another break day. Al is spending his time in the dorm, thanking his lucky stars that he's still here. I don't know where Drew is, but can't find Molly nor Peter. I assume they're all together and set off on an adventure. While wandering through the halls, I remember another friend I have here in initiation. I set off towards her room and pray she's there.

"Hello?" The wooden door similar to that of our dormitory swings open. In front of me stands a tall boy with dark hair and bronze skin. His eyes are like obsidian pits with a hint of mocha, swirly and warm like coffee.

"Hi," I say without a hint of emotion in my voice. "I'm, uh, looking for Lynn. Is she in there?"

"What's your name?"

"Jax," I tell him. His eyes light up.

"Oh! Hey! You're first in your group. That should mean you make it into Dauntless. I'm Uriah," he says with a smile. "Yo, Lynn! Jax is here to see you!" I hear a shuffling of footsteps and soon see my Dauntless-born girl with the shaved head.

"Hey Jax. What's up?" Lynn asks, casually leaning against the doorframe.

"My transfer group abandoned me, plus I haven't talked to you in a while. I'm guessing you heard about the whole butterknife thing?"