How Allegiant Should Have Ended

Tris:

I'm in a meadow. Wild flowers are blooming all around me. I'm the only one standing there, yet it feels like there's life everywhere.

"Beatrice," says my mother, suddenly appearing in front of me. "Why did you leave me?"

"What?" I ask, confused by her question.

"You left me."

"No, I didn't. You left me."

"You chose between Tobias and I, and chose him. Do you still love me?"

"Wha-" How could she think I don't love her? "Mom, I'll always love you. I just needed to live."

"No, you didn't. You could have come and stayed with me. But instead you chose him." She said the last word like it was a piece of trash.

"You don't understand. I love you both, but there's just so much for me left to do in this world. I couldn't die and never get a chance to do any of those things. Please understand me."

"I don't understand you," she says, her lips forming into a hard line. I knew she wouldn't. My divergence doesn't let me control my dreams. "We could have been together again, Beatrice. Tell me that's not what you want."

"I do want that!" I yell at her. I'm in tears now.

"Then why didn't you come with me?!" This is a side of my mother I've never seen before. She's angry at me, furious. Although there was a lot of things I didn't know about her.

"I-I..." I mumble. "I don't know." I fall to the ground and wrap my arms around my knees. I feel like they're the only things keeping me together.

She disappears from in front of me and leaves me to cry by myself. For once, I enjoy be alone.

***

I jolt upwards in bed with sweat dripping down my face. I try to calm down, slow my breathing. It was just a dream, I tell myself. I bring my knees up to my chest and rub my temples with my fingers. It's not real.

Three quick taps on the door brings me back to reality. "Tris, are you okay?" asks someone. Tobias.

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine."

"Can I come in?"

"Sure."

Tobias walks in, being careful not to scare me. "What happened?" he asks.

"Nothing, just a bad dream," I say.

He walks over and comes up onto my bed. I scoot over to make room for him. He puts his arm around my shoulder and runs his hand up and down my arm. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not really, but you don't have a reason not to know."

"Tris, if you don't want to, I'm not forcing you-"

"No, no it's okay." I say. He has a right to know. After all, we are trying to be honest with each other.

He looks at me with such kind eyes, that I kind of regret thinking about not telling him. "My mother was talking to me," I begin, "and she told me that I left her. She said that I should have chose her instead of you."

He looks at me, confused. "When I was in the Weapon's Lab, and almost died," I remind him. He nods.

"I told her that I wanted to live, that I needed to live," I say, correcting myself. "She told me that I did everything I needed to, but I didn't believe her. I still don't. There's more I need to do. " I purposely left out the part where I talked about needing him.

He squeezes my shoulder. There's not another person in the world who would understand me like he does. No one else who would comfort me from my nightmares, even though he probably has worse ones. He's perfect, and he's mine.