Behind the Scenes

We watched in silence; my body leaning into his while his arm was draped over me. It was just like old times, except there were no cameras on us.

We were on the scene where Paula Boudreau's character, Mr. Dawes, partners us up, beginning our epic relationship. Clare was complaining that she got a C on her most recent essay and Eli was coloring his fingernails with a black sharpie. How emo.

Dawes mentioned that I was hiding behind vampire fiction. My cheeks flushed, remembering "Innocent When You Dream," where Landon and I had some pretty intense scenes together.

Munro looked down at me, "What, Aislinn?"

"Nothing, just thinking about Landon," I replied.

"Landon? You are thinking about Landon freaking Liboiron when I am a muscular hunk laying here with you?" he feigned hurt.

"Yeah, the vamp fanfiction storyline was with Declan. I thought you knew that," I explained, glancing up from where my head rested on his chest.

He winked at me but said nothing, returning to the show. We watched silently.

What if I just reached up and held his hand? The moment the thought crossed my mind, butterflies were fluttering everywhere in my abdomen. I felt a pit fall from my throat down to the bottom of my stomach. It was the fear of being rejected.

"The title's centered?" on-screen Munro said, trying to comfort me.

I might as well just do it; what's the worst that could happen? Suddenly, all the unimaginable scenarios ran through my head.

What if he acted like I was the most disgusting person he's ever seen?

What if my hand was sweaty?

What if he had a girlfriend?

My eyes widened. What if he had a girlfriend and he hadn't told me? It is implausible but not impossible.

Fuck it.

"Well, you comin'?" Clare asked on the TV. Eli stuck his apple in his mouth, grabbed his backpack and followed me, running out the door to skip class.

My hand fidgeted on my right thigh. I slowly moved it up, at first to my hair, pretending to sweep it out of my face. Then I glanced over to where his hand was resting over my shoulder. I looked back toward the screen while I nudged my fingers through his, intertwining them.

I saw through my peripherals that he looked over at me, but then smiled and continued watching the show.

I let out a breath that I was apparently holding, and returned to somewhat enjoying the drama-filled episode playing in front of me.

Okay, let me explain "somewhat." As an actor, you never really like the shows you star in. It's like listening to yourself sing. Cringe worthy. I sit and critique every single move I make. And on top of that I know what was going on off-screen. Like this scene, Munro and I were sitting on a bench, talking about my character's not-so-satisfactory grade on the letter assignment.

"I wrote about gun control." Clare said, exasperated.

"Controversial," I heard Munro say next to me, in perfect time with himself on-screen. I glanced at him, minor judgement in my eyes. He just smirked and gave my hand a squeeze. I smiled and rolled my eyes.

"If there was one thing you could change in the world, what would it be?" Munro's voice softened in this line, showing how affectionate Eli could be.

"My parents, they aren't exactly getting along," Clare explained.

A little behind the scenes info: Stefan Brogren was standing behind the cameramen, hands clasped together. At this point, we all sort of knew where our relationship was going to go, but Stefan had an all-access pass into Linda and Stephen's office and creative brains. He knew something we didn't.

"You care too much about what people think."

"I do not!" Clare said defensively.

"Then prove it, scream, at the top of your lungs." I watched as my character prepared herself, then let out a weak yell.

Eli rolled his eyes. "That's the best you can do?"

Accepting the challenge, I stood up, on the screen, of course, and yelled as loud as I could, startling the guy who was looking at umbrellas behind us.

I, real-life me, started laughing. Munro looked at me quizzically

"Has that always been there?" I asked. I distinctly don't remember almost giving a man a heart attack.

"Yep. He almost died that day, Aislinn." Munro said, winking at me.

We both looked at the screen in time to see me push him into a pole. "I had to-, you have to-, you have-, I have to-,"

"Kiss you," I said, not realizing the words actually come out of my mouth.

"Excuse me?" Munro said, looking at me.

"Oh, uh, I always felt that that fit afterward," trying to cover, but honestly, it was just how I felt at that moment.

"Sure," he said skeptically, squeezing my hand again. I really liked that he was doing that. Maybe he did like me, too.

My cheeks started to warm; I knew I was blushing, and I was grateful that Munro had turned off the overhead lights so he couldn't see the obvious flush on my pale face.

Or so I thought.

"Are you blushing, Aislinn?" Munro asked, turning his body to me.

I twisted, in the process, letting go of his hand, "No, of course not!" I replied as defensively as Clare would have to Eli.

Munro gently swept a tendril of hair out of my face and said, "Yes, you are. What going on in that head of yours?"

"It's nothing," I responded, refusing to look him in the eye.

"Bullshit," he replied, placing a crooked knuckle under my chin, looking me directly in my blue eyes. Unfortunately, this caused me to blush even harder than before, not helping my case.

I took a breath. If there was any time to be ballsy, it would be now, with a man I trusted with my life.

"Kiss me, Munro."