What is #ProjectSelfEsteem

I touched briefly upon the types of self-esteem in the first part. The third, and final, part of this masterpost will go into more detail.

HIGH SELF-ESTEEM:

People with a healthy level of self-esteem:

·         Firmly believe in certain values and principles, and are ready to defend them even when finding opposition, feeling secure enough to modify them in light of experience.

·         Are able to act according to what they think to be the best choice, trusting their own judgment, and not feeling guilty when others do not like their choice.

·         Do not lose time worrying excessively about what happened in the past, nor about what could happen in the future. They learn from the past and plan for the future, but live in the present intensely.

·         Fully trust in their capacity to solve problems, not hesitating after failures and difficulties. They ask for help when they need it.

·         Consider themselves equal in dignity to others, rather than inferior or superior, while accepting differences in certain talents, personal prestige or financial standing.

·         Understand how they are an interesting and valuable person to others, at least for those with whom they have a friendship.

·         Resist manipulation, collaborate with others only if it seems appropriate and convenient.

·         Admit and accept different internal feelings and drives, either positive or negative, revealing those drives to others only when they choose.

·         Are able to enjoy a great variety of activities.

·         Are sensitive to feelings and needs of others; respect generally accepted social rules, and claim no right or desire to prosper at others' expense.

·         Can work toward finding solutions and voice discontent without belittling themselves or others when challenges arise.

Secure and defensive self-esteem:

Secure high self-esteem is when a person can remain confident with themselves, even when they are not receiving reassurance from others. People with defensive self-esteem will have a high self-esteem, but their positivity is tender and fragile. These people are vulnerable to critique – they internalize self-doubts and insecurities, causing negative reactions to any criticism they may receive. They will require constant positive feedback from others to maintain their sense of self-worth – this can, however, lead to boastfulness, arrogance, and perhaps even violence, if anyone was to question their worth.

Implicit and explicit identities:

Implicit self-esteem refers to a person's ability to evaluate themselves, either positively or negatively, in a spontaneous or automatic way, whereas explicit self-esteem consists of a more reflective self-evaluation. These are both sub-types of self-esteem.

Threatened egotism:

This is a type of response to criticism that threatens the ego of narcissists – they often react in an aggressive manner.

LOW SELF-ESTEEM:

A person with low self-esteem may show some of the following characteristics:

·         Heavy self-criticism and dissatisfaction

·         Hypersensitivity to criticism with resentment against critics and feelings of being attacked.

·         Chronic indecision and an exaggerated fear of mistakes.

·         Excessive will to please and unwillingness to displease any petitioner.

·         Perfectionism, which can lead to frustration when perfection is not achieved.

·         Neurotic guilt, dwelling on or exaggerating the magnitude of past mistakes.

·         Floating hostility and general defensiveness and irritability without any proximate cause.

·         Pessimism and a general negative outlook.

·         Envy, invidiousness, or general resentment.

·         Sees temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions.

People with low levels of self-esteem tend to be highly self-critical. Some individuals will depend on the approval of others when evaluating self-worth, whereas others may measure their likability in terms of success – others will accept them if they succeed, but not if they fail. For these individuals, success is not "extra sweet", but failure is "extra bitter."

The Three States:

This is a classification put forward by Martin Ross and it highlights the differences between three different states of self-esteem, compared to the "feats" {triumphs and virtues} and anti-feats {defeats and embarrassments} of the person:

> Shattered: The individual does not thing they are valuable or lovable. They may be, or may perceive to be overwhelmed by failure or shame. They may pity and insult themselves – they may become paralyzed by sadness.

> Vulnerable: The individual has a generally positive self-image, but their self-esteem is vulnerable to the perceived risk of an imminent anti-feat. As a consequence, they are regularly nervous and use defence mechanisms – a typical one being avoiding decision-making. Although these people may outwardly exhibit self-confidence, the reality may be the opposite – the illusion of self-confidence points to their heightened fear of anti-feats. They may also try to blame others to protect the self-image from threatening situations. They may imply defence mechanisms such as attempting to lose at games and competitions by publicly dissociating themselves from a "need to win". They make poor life decisions, often fueled by risky behaviour.

> Strong: These people have a positive self-image and do not allow their anti-feats to lower their self-esteem. They have a low fear of failure. They appear to be humble, cheerful. They are capable of fighting for their goals when things go wrong, their self-esteem will not be affected. 

However, no type of self-esteem is indestructible, and because of life circumstances, anyone can sift between the different states of self-esteem.

Contingent and non-contingent self-esteem:

Also known as conditional self-esteem, contingent self-esteem comes from external sources, such as what others say, your level of success or failure. Therefore, conditional self-esteem is attributed by instability, unreliability and vulnerability. However, because this type of self-esteem is based on receiving approval, it is highly detrimental, as no-one gets constant approval.

Non-contingent, or unconditional self-esteem can be described as true, stable and solid self-esteem and comes from the belief that you are ontologically acceptable and accepted.

And this concludes the masterpost. Thank you all for reading.

- thefineideayoucrave