Danem

Red sat back against a tree trunk, staring at nothing. He'd been like that for an hour now, and Zim was getting impatient. He knew it took time to readjust to a sane thought pattern, but they needed to get supplies. Red didn't have a stitch of clothing on him, and Zim hadn't eaten in two days.

Finally, he stalked over to Red. "Tallest Red, I know you're in shock, but we have to get supplies. If you can put your shock on hold until after we get supplies, we will be in much better shape to deal with whatever is going on in your head at the moment."

Red turned his head toward Zim, slowly. "Where are we?"

Zim blinked. He hadn't even considered that Red didn't know what planet they were on, but it made sense. He'd been consumed by Gaz while on the Massive, after all.

"We're on Earth." Zim squatted nearby. "And it gets cold at night, and we need food. You need clothes."

Red just stared at him blankly. "What did you see?" He asked slowly.

Zim tensed a little. Tallests records and histories were strictly confidential. Red had transmitted them himself in an act of desperation, but in his current state of mind, he might not take that into consideration.

He might attack again.

"Zim." Red's voice was shakey. "What did you see?"

Carefully, Zim maneuvered himself into a defensive position, keeping his eyes trained on Red, before answering.

"I saw Invader Panat, from your point of view. She was hugging you and trying to hold onto you. You were being pulled away from her. The soldiers grabbed you, and two of them pinned her down. They... removed her eyes. And antennae."

"Ripped them out and off, Zim." Red said bluntly. "Just say it."

Zim paused, then continued, "They beat her while she crawled around trying to find you. They shoved her eyes in your face. Then they took you out of the home and incinerated the entire dwelling, with her inside."

Red drew a long, shuddering breath. "You know what's really scary, Zim?"

Zim shook his head.

"I could feel exactly when I stopped caring that it happened. And it was the second they put the PAK on my back." He stared hard at the ground. "They had me come in a lot, you know. Servicing my PAK. Said they had to program special codes for the Tallest access to commands and databases. I think they shored up my emotion filter every time, though. I felt less every time I left. Zim." He kept his eyes down. "I know I'm not stable at the moment, my mind is still catching up with any emotion my PAK blocked, and I'm a little scattered, but I have the feeling I've done..." His claws curled inward. "...some horrible things, but I can't pick them out at the moment."

Zim relaxed his stance, and sat on the ground. "My Tallest?"

Red didn't lift his head.

"My Tallest, you were not well. Zim..." He shifted. "Zim understands. Zim was... not well for a long time also."

Red's antenna flicked in Zim's direction. "And you're well now?"

Zim shrugged uncomfortably. "Learning how to be better all the time."

"This isn't better, Zim, this is almost insanity in itself, my spooch feels like it wants to crawl away and bury itself in a hole. It hurts. What about this is better? There's a reason we have our emotions filtered!"

Zim scratched absently at the dirt. "I've wondered that too. But I think I know the answer. I think you'll know it soon too, but I was never really... happy, before."

Red snorted. "Of course you were, you were plenty happy to see us and bother us to no end."

Zim scowled. "I was not... happy. I was empty."

Red blinked. "Empty?"

"Empty. Reaching for... something. Approval, I needed the Tallests to approve of Zim. I needed to be the greatest, but it always went wrong. I was so insane, that all my destruction became a great accomplishment. I thought, surely the Tallests must acknowledge me now. When you told me I was a joke..." His claws dug into the dirt. "I thought the empty was all that was left, there wasn't even pride or self-preservation. Just empty." He glanced at Red. "Have you ever really been happy?"

Red fell silent, filtering through memories. He'd enjoyed himself, he'd had some good times and fun with Purple. But he couldn't think of a single time when he had been without a need, deep in his spooch, for something. He shook his head.

"Because the emotion filter took it all away, the happy with the sad. The good with the bad. My Tallest, I think... I think we can't know what the happy is without the feeling you're having right now."

Red lifted his head. "Are you happy, Zim?"

It was Zim's turn to drop his head. "Not right now, no." He said softly. "But I was, for awhile."

Before Red could probe further, GIR latched onto Zim's head, giggling. "Mastah's gonna get wet!"

"Get off me, GIR. What do you mean?"

GIR yanked Zim's head back to stare at the sky. Ominous looking clouds had gathered in the sky overhead, rumbling with thunder.

"Flirk!" Zim leaped to his feet, yanking Red to his. "Take this!" Zim slapped a patch onto Red's shoulder, and one onto his own.

Red's Irken appearance shifted. A tall, gangly hyuman stood in his place, with a mop of orangey-red hair and deep red eyes. Zim had changed as well, appearing as a young man with reddish brown hair. Zim checked Red's disguise, grateful that the hologram included a set of clothes. They weren't physically there, but would cover Red's nakedness until they reached a clothing store.

"What are you doing?" Red demanded.

"We have to get into town, it's going to rain soon. This planet produces H2O as its primary liquid source, and it's about to come pouring from the sky in a moment."

Red's eyes widened. "Where do we go?"

Zim reached into his pocket, pulling out a small plastic card. Tom and Della had helped him set up a money system for his earnings from the mechanic shop, and he had never been more grateful. He would need every cent to keep them going until he could find another source of work in another city. "Into the city. Follow Zim, and do not speak to anyone."

.....

Dib paced back and forth across his room, frustrated and angry. Mikko watched him from an extra chair.

"Stupid idiot, what's he thinking? He's going to get himself captured and hurt, and I won't even know about it. We're supposed to work together to keep him safe, why isn't he cooperating? Does he want to get hurt?"

Dib's computer bleeped, but he was too preoccupied with his monologue to notice. Mikko scooted over, clicking the alert icon on the screen. Her eyes widened. "Dib! What does this mean, about Zim's account?"

Dib flew over to his desk, snatching the mouse from Mikko and scanning the information. "Ha, haha! Zim used his debit card! He used it just now, and it's over at Sweaterland!" He grabbed Mikko's arm and ran for the door. "Come on, Mikko, if we hurry we can catch him!"