It Was Always You [BxB]

"You probably think I'm boring now, don't you? But I can't stop wondering... if I didn't get lucky, if my Dad didn't find me, I would've had the same fate. Most people love to say it's about choices, yet what choice would I have had when all of them were bad? If I had limited options and the cards were stacked against me?" Joaquin's fingers tighten around his mug as if pursuing warmth. "I got lucky. And I... I feel like I owe everyone I left behind."

Julian shakes his head vehemently. "No, you're not boring. You're brave and incredibly empathetic," he sighs. "And hearing you talk like this... I feel like an idiot."

"Idiot how?"

"I don't know anything. Not about you. Not about the world. I've had it easy."

"Julian—"

"Sorry, I'm making this about me, but don't tell me I'm wrong. If there's one thing I'm sure of, I'd been born lucky in ways I haven't truly appreciated. My father is gone, but my mother is the best person I know. And my step dad treats me well even if I'm not his kid."

"You don't have to feel guilty about anything."

"And so do you," Julian says as he reaches out and places a palm over Joaquin's. "But thank you for telling me. I want us to always be real with each other."

Joaquin's shoulders relax, and he inclines back in his chair. "I've thought about telling you several times, but it feels like I'm dumping my baggage on you. For the nth time. I don't want you accommodating me anymore."

"That was my mistake. You're not someone I have to accommodate. You're someone I care about, and we'll figure things out together." Julian smiles. "Joaquin, that's what I want. All of you, and not just the easy parts."

*

The rest of Julian's work day passes in a haze, Joaquin's words in a constant loop in his mind. He'd said it in such a manner—calm and reflective—that had shown how much he'd been resilient. How much he'd been stitching himself back together.

But a whole new level of respect isn't the only thing Julian has acquired. Beneath it all is a revival of outrage. Why did Joaquin have to endure so many unthinkable things as a child?

Every layer of Joaquin's past unfolding brings a fresh ache to Julian's chest, paired with an undying thirst to punch something. Or someone.

He exhales, pausing his typing. Perhaps all he can do now is stand by him and support him in whatever way he can.

"Hey, Julian." Mimi, the office's self-proclaimed queen of gossip, who had spread the stories about Joaquin, pops into his cubicle uninvited.

This can't be good.

"Mimi, hi." He forces a courteous smile. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Nothing, just checking in..." She grins, her fake lashes batting rapidly like a warning signal, causing Julian to instinctively back off. His office chair rolls away, banging into the desk behind him with a thud.

"Seems like you've got lots of friends from the tenth floor, huh."

"Oh. Not really."

Mimi raises an eyebrow. "Not really? I saw you walking with Chavez!"

Julian should've seen this coming. His lips flatten, his expression carefully blank. "We just had coffee."

She steps closer, ensnaring Julian, who's struggling not to shove her away for invading his space. "So, you guys friends? Does he have a girlfriend? Or is it that blonde woman?"