ErrorFresh: Colorblind

Chapter II

"I'm sorry..." I knew it was pstupid to say such thing to him, but he seems to pay no attention to it.

I was still under his touch, under his warm embrace.

'Maybe I was wrong....
Maybe I wasn't strong alone....
Maybe I am not who I think I am?' That's what I always think when I'm with him.

'I am strong with him... he's the one that make me strong, make me worth living.' It's a shame that I thought of this.

However... it would be too risky. If he dies... I wouldn't even able to forgive myself.
I wouldn't be as strong as I was.

This would make it more conflicted for me.
I need to protect him, but that makes things more difficult.
Nevertheless, he still seems to be capable of protecting himself. He's strong and capable of killing other people without a second thought.

He's not satisfied... nor was he happy. He seems emotionless about it.
Yet another reason why...
(Reference #3)

I debated in my mind whether or not I should tell him how I feel.
It felt so sudden... I knew it was wrong I couldn't possibly love him with the short amount of time we have met.

Is it really possible?
However... who am I to judge? Love comes back and forth. It treats you like a toy, once you're satisfied... it leaves you.

It engraves you and makes sure you never come out of it.

I can't. I shouldn't. I mustn't.

I can't help myself from embracing him even more.
He hugged me back with no hesitation. I felt warm salty liquid fall into my shoulders.

I'm crying.
I'm weak.
I shouldn't but I did anyway.

It continuously went on like this for more than minutes.
I couldn't sleep.

My mind drifted into many possibilities.
I saw many images varying from different timelines, universes. It featured myself, and I was defenseless.

I knew it was just a dream of mine. I knew it was just a way to corrupt my head.

But am I not already broken?
But am I not corrupted?
Isn't it enough that this miserable life was given to a fool like me?

I am too ugly, I am a monster.
No one could possibly ever accept me. Anyone who would even have the courage to do that might have been done out of insanity.

"Thank you... I needed that..." muffled noises came from my mouth.

"Hmm..." he replied.

He seems to show no emotions at the moment. He didn't even have his cool attitude.
That 90s trash demeanor was gone.

Could he possible be feeling
Pity? Why did he embrace me in the first place?

Either way, I was still laying under his touch...

Sooner or later i felt unconsciousness linger in my mind. I couldn't shove it away. It deeply clings onto my soul.

But then... I knew it wouldn't last the way I wanted it to.

It's no use.
It's pointless.
Love is a weakness.
Once you lose them, you'll just be vulnerable, weak, taken advantage of, and what's worse-- the guilt, the regrets and the pain.

I shove him off, and glared at him. He seems taken aback; however, he didn't seem to look sad either, he just stared at me.

It pained me to see him just sitting on the floor, staring at what I did.

'He comforted me... I pushed him away.' That's what I though. I couldn't bare looking at him as he simply sat on the floor, hands on his knees, looking down.

I snapped, and opened a portal, and for the first time...
I hesitated. I hesitated entering the portal. I could but I didn't. I stood there for a good 30 seconds...

Just staring the portal makes me rethink my existence in this universe-- no-- this multiverse.

After all... I could kill him instantly. No doubts that he would even fight back. He's as vulnerable as a chess piece, as vulnerable as a pawn.

I'm a murderer after all.. it's no different killing him right on the spot... am I right?
(Reference #4)

(A/N: anyone else getting the references? Comment down below if you guys get it especially the one near the end of this chapter!! If so-- what do you think it is?)

Thank you so much :)
Credits:
Art is mine
Story is mine.