Rewind: Rewriting Memories

Rewind

You were the only one who could make me smile.

You were my heart and soul,

You brought in joy and made me whole.

But, Everything I felt, had been an illusion

Explained by the way, it left me in shock and confusion.

My best dream became my worst nightmare,

You vanished while I was still there''

Tears rolled down my cheeks as each of those verses hammered my tainted soul. A dark cloud of melancholy took hold of my heart and made showers of affliction in my life. Shaking my head for a nano-second, I recovered from the shock. Taking the pile of paper, I read those block letter words- "LOVE HAS NO DELETE BUTTON ''

"Love and delete button! Does it make any sense? It is somewhat like taking a blind for a super-hit movie or singing melodiously to a deaf. For now, Love originates in the eyes of the seeker and dies somewhere in the cerebral hemisphere of the brain. Heart plays the passive role in today's relationship'' – I thought to myself. But it wasn't the case with me, my heart took no time to link the word 'LOVE' with my beloved's name and a damped feeling bestowed upon me. I, at once, slammed the papers on the table and went out.

Unable to resist the anxiety, I went back to the room. Making myself comfortable, I placed my right hand on the left side of my chest. I could feel the LUBB and DUBB of my heart. I could feel the exothermic reaction taking place in my heart; I could even feel the blood gushing in and out of my ventricles but could no longer feel any strong desire for LOVE. Howsoever, I picked up the piles of paper and started reading...

Foreword

Living in Delhi often means dealing with long commutes, never-ending traffic jams, erratic working hours, high-pressure jobs, and of course, lots of stress. While most couples somehow devise ways to deal with these challenges, it does take a toll on many relationships.

Tanisha Awasthi, 33, is employed with the press company. She married Abhishek Awasthi, 35, 10 years ago. They are blessed with a girl child, Ruhi, who is about to be 9. Abhishek owns a private bike showroom. Tanisha used to stay in Southern Park, Saket, which is where her office is located. After marriage, she relocated to Sundar Nagar, where her husband stays with his family.

However, a year ago, she moved back with her daughter to live with her parents in Saket. No, it wasn't because her marriage was on the rocks, but because the stress of travelling long distances everyday was far too much.

Things seemed to work out quite fine in the beginning. They continually stayed in touch. They would talk to each other over phone for long hours. Holidays and weekends were strictly devoted for one another. Either of them constantly searched for an option to meet up and stay together. Somehow, they managed to keep the spark in their relationship alive.

But, as all good things come to end, so was their happiness. Their hectic schedule hindered their routine interactions. Their distance seemed mammoth and it was tearing them apart. They had their share of arguments and at times, they even tried to pull away, but succumbed to the passion and attraction they had for each other. Despite things working out not quite well, they were holding onto each other.

Crests and troughs

It's been about 6 months now. We hardly meet and the daily conversations are now restricted to one odd call per week. Whenever we talk, we argue over small things and ruin up whatever love we still possess for each other. And even today, we argued over a lame issue, which has been quite routine for us. So to refresh my mind, I travelled to GT Road to have dinner with Avanti, a close friend who was in town for a conference. I'd met Avanti, a tall curly-haired blonde, years ago at a book club. We earned our livings as freelance writers. We were both workaholics, and over the years, we'd created an informal freelance writing support group. She and I were the only members. We took turns telling work stories that, after a couple glasses of wine, took on dramatic plot twists, lots of animated arm movements, and an incredible amount of laughter. No matter how bedraggled I felt walking into a restaurant for a dinner with Avanti, I always felt happier and lighter when I left.