Counting Sheep

I've got a new chapter for you! I am so excited and I really hope with all my heart that you guys think it is okay. I've been trying to get out more updates for you so I hope that you enjoy this chapter. I hope you know that you are loved and appreciated! Keep your eyes open for an update! I love you. -Hannah <3

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CHAPTER 25: The following week passed uneventfully.

Julian, Hazel and Layla had started a routine that they had gotten down to a science and each night, Julian wasn't able to help but realize the calmness in his soul.

The usual roaring and treacherous waves of his memories were strangely solemn as if even the demons in his mind were coming to love Hazel and Layla. The days started off at around 8 in the morning, usually depending on if Hazel had nightmares or not and surprisingly, the nightmares had gotten better with Julian around. Layla wasn't the only one who noticed but Alice, Sydney and Ethan did as well whenever they visited. Layla hadn't come out and told them everything of what was going on because she didn't know where this situation would go, whether it would soon somehow resolve itself or if the danger would grow.

After they woke, they had breakfast. Usually it was cereal that they each liked, but on the other days, they all helped cook a yummy homemade breakfast together and it worked. It surprised Julian, if he was honest with himself.

He had always seen himself in the complete opposite of a situation like this and it was hard to grasp. It was hard to grasp because he knew that this, this was his dream come true.

This little family was something that made his dark and dead soul happy when he thought it was permanently broken.

Sure, he still had problems, but those troubles faded to a low hum in the background every time he heard Hazel giggle or saw Layla's radiant smile.

He could get used to this life and it was what scared him.

When he laid in bed at night, Layla curled in his arms, he pondered for hours whether it was better to experience true love, true happiness and joy, but also have the risk of having it ripped away again?

His world had been so dark before, only knowing shades of black and blue, or gray and white, of copper and crimson that had stained not only his mind, but his hands as the years passed.

Even if nothing happened to take this beautiful thing he had right now away, what would happen in a year or two?

Would he miss feeling the numbness that had been his constant drug of choice?

Would he be able to move on...knowing what he had seen?

What he had done?

He knew deep inside that if Hazel and Layla knew of some of the things he had done in this life, they wouldn't see him as they did now.

They would see him for the cruel, despicable monster that lurked beneath inked flesh. The demons clawed at his skin, seeking the pain and the misery, but then, Layla would move in his arms, would sigh and snuggle closer and just like that...his world was serene again.

The Fourth of July barbecue that Dave and Charlene always through had finally come and Julian hadn't been quiet about how much he did not want to go.

Layla had laughed and kissed his cheek, telling him she wanted to meet Charlene.

He didn't know why he didn't want to go, didn't know why the feeling was so strong. He loved Charlene and Dave and they had become his family in some ways, but he felt almost as though if he acknowledged them like this in his life, as always, it would be fair game to fall to pieces. He couldn't lie to himself about another thing, also.