The Not So Sad Rejection

The Talk

I was taken aback when Grant kissed me. I was even more taken aback when I kissed him back. Common sense said that there was no way Grant and I could be together, it told me to stop acting like a little girl. Love is for children. I know that. So why did I want this? Why was there a part of me that wanted so desperately for this to work out?

It made my head spin. Grant was the one to break the kiss and he did so with a smug smile. "I think that's the first time you've ever kissed me back."

I scowled. "Don't expect it to happen again."

He grinned. "I think I'll push my luck."

"You already have," I said in warning.

He laughed and pressed his lips to my forehead. "I am sorry," he whispered against my skin. "It's been made glaringly obvious that I have quite a lot to learn."

I looked down. "You weren't wrong about me though. I killed those wolves in cold blood."

"You were only out in that forest because my father had pushed you to lose control," Grant said in my defense.

I gave him a grim smile. "The blood is still on my hands. I should've have better control over my emotions, I shouldn't have let him get to me."

He sighed, "You aren't going to let yourself off the hook, are you?"

He sounded so much like Jason for a second. "You aren't the first person to think I ought to stop punishing myself."

"Then why don't you?" he asked.

"You don't understand," I said softly. "I don't believe in any god, I don't believe there is a heaven and more importantly I don't believe there is a hell where we pay for our sins. There is only this life, nothing after. That means the people I've killed, they're just gone and the only way I can pay for what I did is to do it in this life."

He looked at me sadly, "That's a very grim way to look at life, Katrina. It's a way you didn't use to look at it."

"People change," I said in way of explanation. "I'd think you'd know that better than anyone." Anyone besides me.

He raised a critical eyebrow. "Why? Because you've change?"

I felt the corn of my mouth twist up. "No, you fool. Because you have." His eyes widened in surprise and my smile grew. "You aren't the arrogant, obnoxious, above-everyone-else kid you were when I left. The kid I grew up with would never admit to being wrong, nor apologize for it. And he'd never admit that he didn't know everything. You've grown."

"You're giving the boy way too much credit," Lily said starling us.

I looked at her standing in the doorway. "How long have you been there?" I asked red-cheeked and hoping the answer wasn't what I thought it was.

She smirked, "I walked in on you two kissing and neither of you seemed to notice me."

I swallowed a dry lump in my throat. "I can, uh..."

"Explain?" she finished smiling. She looked at Grant and said in a singsong voice, "My mate's gonna kill you!"

"Lily!" I hissed.

She grinned at me. "You know he is! Remember when you kissed that weird kid in your senior class and Jason broke his arm in three places?"

"His name was Victor Urey and he was not weird," I said. "And also he and every other guy in that school never talked to me again!"

She waved a hand. "The kid didn't eat cheese."

"He was lactose-intolerant!" I exclaimed.

"Pfft, weird nonetheless."