Counting Sheep

Chapter 28

"Julian," She whispered softly, slowly turning him to face her.

His head stayed down as his throat worked.

She felt her heart tighten painfully at the guilt and utter self-hatred written on his face.

She moved forward, molding her body to his as she bent her head by his chest to meet his eyes, her hands coming up to cradle his face.

"God, Layla." He choked out, shaking his head. "I-I...I put my hands on you!"

Layla shook her head. "No, Julian. It was an accident. You know that and I know that. You just were scared..." She paused and was just about to speak when he broke in.

"I don't care if I was fucking terrified. I promised myself no harm would ever come to you even if that harm is at my hand!" He growled.

She met his eyes with just as much fire. "Julian—I don't give a fuck what you think, quite plainly." Said Layla. "I know that what just happened was because of the horrors that you were seeing in your mind. I know that you would never ever consciously or deliberately lay a finger on me, so just...stop." She finished in a whisper.

He stared at her. "Please, Julian. How many times have Hazel and I had nightmares and how many times have you been here to comfort us? To hold us and to make us feel SAFE."

He didn't speak, so she spoke for him. Moving closer until their noses were practically touching, she quietly whispered, "Every damn time."

Smoothing hair away from his face, she examined him closely. "Let me be here for you. Let me make you feel loved and let me show you that you are not in that dark scary place anymore." Julian stared at the woman he loved for a long time, chest feeling tight as he once again realized just how fucking in love he was with her.

"Okay," He finally said and a beautiful smile bloomed across her face, filling the room and his heart alike with light and chasing the darkness away.

"I...I was dreaming of my mother. She was beautiful, ya know? She had this pureness about her that made you instantly feel like you were breathing in fresh air if you were even just standing beside her," He looked out the window, Layla's arms wrapped around his waist.

Absently, he traced small circles onto her lower back through the soft satin of her robe. "The nights she didn't work-which were very few-we would always go sit outside, playing out in the backyard and in the garden."

Soon, it was as if he wasn't seeing Layla's backyard anymore, but his dream instead. "We would be playing around, having so much fun and then all the sudden, the night would get darker. The stars that shined in the sky were no longer shining but instead swallowed up by the dull blackness of the sky as it deepened and got even darker, casting shadows of the deepest and darkest black. I could feel something fall over us in the dream-something bad-and I knew we had to run. I could hear this laughing and this...this whistled song."

Julian's eyes slammed shut as though he could hear it then and there. "I would turn around to tell my mom that we have to go, but then I would freeze because my mom was suddenly...different. Her skin was horribly pale and I'd reach up to grab her hand, expecting the warmth I always felt when holding her hand but then...she was ice cold." Julian shuddered.

"I would slowly look up and...I would see a small drop of blood on the soft fabric of her nightgown, then another and another. I would follow where the drops went with my eyes and it would slowly lead to these long running ribbons of scarlet. I would follow those and then...I'd see the big gaping slit in her throat, I'd be able to see the pale white of her eyes as her mouth opened in a scream and I wouldn't be able to help but slam my eyes shut and then the whistling would start up again and when I would open my eyes, I was in that closet again and I could hear him as he..." He broke off, feeling bile rise in his throat.