c.c//imagines

f e e l i n g s / / f l u f f

After a few seconds of awkward silence, she decided to tell the truth. "I heard you were sick so I decided to come by and check on you."
Camila's expression went from surprised to confused in a matter of seconds.

"You... were worried about me?" It was clear she didn't believe her.

"I guess." Y/n's answer resembled more a question than a statement.

"Do you want to come in?" Camila's voice was weak and throaty from her sickness. Y/n never thought someone could sound so sexy while being sick.

She looked at her, golden brown falling into emerald green and they were silent for a while. Y/n opened her mouth but no sound came out of it. Shee took a step forward, and then a step back.

"No. It's fine. I'm just gonna leave." And with that she left, leaving Camila alone at her front door, more confused than ever.

As she drove away, she kept imagining her, alone at her house, bundled up in her bed. Y/n kept picturing her in those sweatpants and that flannel and couldn't help herself from wondering how she would look in one of her plaid shirts.

And that's when she understood. That feeling that Y/n was constantly telling her about. The anticipation before seeing her, the emptiness when she wasn't there, not being able to stop thinking about her. Y/n liked Camila Cabello.

The girl settled on the word "like", not wanting to use the other word that was coming to her mind.

She did not feel ready for that.

Y/n avoided Camila for a week. She came back too school the next day, still looking sick and Y/n wanted to tell her to go home, to take better care of herself and that she would take notes for her.

But she didn't. Instead, she avoided her glances and left each time she saw her walking towards her.

Y/n texted her the same night to thank her for the tutoring. She said she didn't need it anymore. And it was true. It had been a while since Y/n had caught up with the lessons she had missed, thanks to the girl's help.

She had continued to go at her house after school and sometimes even pretended to not understand something, because she didn't want to stop.

She really enjoyed her company. Even studying was fun when it was with Camila. She had become so accustomed to her presence that she felt her sitting next to her when she was studying home on her own.

But then Y/n would look up and realize she wasn't there, and she felt utterly lost and alone. She kept telling herself that she couldn't let anyone have that control over her.

That feelings were useless, that they got in the way. But what she had spent hours trying to convince Will was true, she didn't believe anymore.

Yes, feelings could be painful and god knows she had suffered, lying awake at night, missing Camila more than anything in the world. But they could also make you happy, like when she saw Camila laughing with Ally, her eyes glowing and her smile wide.

After a few days, Y/n couldn't take it anymore. She had kept her feelings to herself and pushed Camila away and she felt like she was about to burst.

Keeping this secret would end her. At lunch, she saw Camila and walked towards her but as soon as Y/n's eyes met hers, she saw the anger in her eyes.

She broke their eye contact straight away and ignored Y/n as she approached their table, talking to Ally while keeping her stare focused on her food. Ally sent Y/n a half-apologetic look and concentrated on her friend's story.

Y/n left the cafeteria, not bothering to meet her friends at their usual table. She had lost her appetite anyway. Will saw her leave and finished her food fast, lying to Normani and Dinah about having to finish some homework.