Random Number | Original & Unedited!

[ Him ; Her ; Narration ]

❧

Wednesday, 3:21 am

calling : emma

-

"I left my ultra thin pads outside of Burger King, what should I do? I'm having a bloody crisis."

"I don't know. You should bleed to death."

"I'm hurt. I thought you cared about me."

"Well, now you know I don't."

"You just don't want to admit that you love me."

"I can't admit to something that isn't true."

"I'm heartbroken."

"I don't care."

"I'm pulling an all-nighter."

"Same here. I got my coffee bud by my side."

"I got my tea by my side."

"Ew tea."

"Don't insult my best-tea."

"Word's cannot espresso how much I dislike tea."

"Have some positivi-tea hon, then you'll be beau-tea-ful."

"I'm already brew-tiful."

"I see what you did there, you naugh-tea girl."

"Oh my god, you mocha me crazy."

"I'm glad you like my koala-tea puns."

"I hate your puns a latte."

"I hate your coffee puns so matcha."

"Drinking too much tea can cause a latte problem for you."

"No, it's not. By the way, wanna join my par-tea? It takes away my anxie-tea."

"..."

"Can we get oolong now and stop with the koala-tea puns?"

"Yes please, I ran out of my koala-tea coffee puns."

"TEA-RIFFIC!"

"I found loads of tea puns on Pinterest but so little of coffee puns. This isn't fair."

"Don't be so sal-tea."

"I'm more of a swee-tea."

"I disagree."

"I don't want your opinion."

"You don't want my opinion, you need my opinion. You see what I did there? I'm such a naugh-tea boy."

"I thought we said we would stop with the puns."

"Oh right, I forgot because I was abstrac-tea-ed." 

"You're such a nincompoop."

"Who the hell still say nincompoop?"

"Me."

"That's so fetch."

"..................."

"What?"

"Did you just quote Mean Girls?"

"Stop laughing at me."

"I- I can't. Oh my god."

"My sister made me watch it."

"I'm screeeeeeching, oh my god."

"I'm gonna hang up."

"HAHAHAHAHA-"

CALL ENDED

"What a sal-tea guy."