I'm not the one

« Stop looking at him Faye, it's a waste of time ! ». That's what my friends Rosie, Effie and Georgie have been literally yelling at me for about 10 minutes now.

« Girls I can't. He is the one. I know it. Plus, I saw glancing in my direction. It's a sign of the time! Please girls tell me that you got it, right? ».. Yes, I may have been delusional when I shouted them back this way too cliche sentence. But I knew he had been glancing in my direction, I could make this fact up. And yes, I can be way too optimist sometimes.

« Oh my god Faye, please tell us that you are drunk! You can't be serious right now. He is just one of those famous pop star who doesn't give a care in the world about people like us, you know the normal ones ». Said Rosie trying to get her third « bloody Mary » drink since we got here.

Inside of me, I kind of knew that she wasn't wrong but at the same time trying to reach for the unreachable wasn't the stupidest thing to do. Well, in my case in could I guess. After all, I'm just a way too curvy and a way too unexperienced 24 years old woman, but mostly way too unlucky regarding my looks to get to the point that, me Faye Buchanan would manage to get involved in a relationship with Harry Styles. I don't want to sound pathetic or pitiful but sometimes you cannot deny the truth, a truth you have to deal with every single day of your life.

« Faye to Earth! Earth to Faye, hello! » said Rosie, my best friend yet to be the wife of one of the best neuro surgeon of Los Angeles.

Rosie wasn't just a lucky girl, she was one of those blessed with the « flawless option » women. She was so beautiful and yet so unaware of it which made it harder not to despise her sometimes. God, I sound so jealous although she is one of my best friends. Oh did I tell you that she was extremely smart on top of that? I remember that day when we were 19 and she called us at midnight urging Georgie, Effie and I to come at her place. Thinking she was dealing with a serious issue, I made my way to her place, stressed as hell. Only to be greeted by the happiest human being I had ever seen :

« Faye I got into Harvard. I got my acceptation email! Oh my gosh my Faye you don't know how much I will never forget this day. Like ever. »

I didn't forget that day either, since the next morning I received my Harvard application answer and it was a no or more like a polite «  oh hell no ». I got to study French law in a public university in France just because they needed a specific quota of foreigners in their university.

Anyway... I suddenly felt bittersweet and decided to ignore Rosie's and Effie's worried looks and took another shot of this new drink that everyone had been talking about but whom I had zero clue of what its name was.

« You know what, I think you should go talk to him ». I almost spat my drink all over my overused jean when I heard Georgie saying this.

« Are you insane? You know what's going to happen. Plus, she's going to be a mess when this guy is going to say a brutal no to her ». Said the heartless version of Effie who was more focused on texting with her new beau than enjoying this girl night out.

Weirdly her words didn't affected me as much as it should had. I oddly was okay with her thinking that he would obviously refuse to go out with me. Even though I try not to, I constantly am self conscious about my weight, a weight that polite people would put the word « strong » on (« oh what a strong woman you are ») but whom I would put the word « obese » on. Those IMC calculator websites would surely agree with me on that fact. But still, under my friends opinion, I would wear dresses, skirt or whatever would wear a fit woman. I don't really know why, even though I just wear these on our girls night out. On my daily life and being a lawyer assistant in a well known law firm I would never dress like that ever.