float | it

x. b-billy

"I know why."

"W-"

"Beverly told me."

There was a silence as he sighed of relief.

"A-and your no-not weirded out-t?"

I shook my head softly and smiled at him comfortingly.

"It's fine Bill."

He began to look into my eyes.

I knew what was coming.

Why wasn't I trying to stop it?

He leaned in and pecked me.

We both laughed nervously.

I pulled him into another hug, this one he hugged back more.
Without letting go, I looked up at him.

Was this right?

I don't know...

This time he full on kissed me. I let go and began to hyperventilate.

No.

N-no.

Not this.

The anxiety and guilt was coming, I knew it.

Poor Richie.

Poor Bill.

What was I putting these poor boys through?

He looked scared.

"S-Sarah?"

I began to cry, but it was too much.

I needed a shoulder to cry on.

A friend.

I burst into tears and wrapped my arms around him once again, resting my head on his shoulder.

He hugged me tightly and comforted me.

Suddenly, the door opened.

What luck.

Again.

She gasped and saw Bill hugging me.

"YOU BITCH!"

She yelled as she pulled Bills arms off of me.

"Wha-"

I began to say but was interrupted by her fist in my face.

I was shocked.

I was appalled.

But I also was ready to mess a bitch up.

I felt my bloody nose and looked at her with a death stare.

I've been in one to many fights in my life, and mostly all of them I've won, so I wasn't scared of her.

I threw a punch back, harder than her.
She was an amateur at fighting.
I wasn't afraid.

She fell back into my wall as Bill began to try and hold me back.

I threw his arms off me as Beverly got up with a black eye.

"You're trying to steal him."

"If stealing him means hugging him then yes. I was stealing him."

I said as I dodged another punch.

"You're an obnoxious shit face who needs attention. That's all. They don't even like you. They just feel bad."

I twitched as memories came back.
All of them came barreling in my mind.
The voice, coming from my body, but not me yelling at Richie.

The way I was crying on the inside to get out.

The feeling of being possessed. By It. Whatever it was called.

The feeling of pure rage.

I couldn't control it. My body went numb as another being took over. It wasn't me. Something inside me boiled over the pot and went loose.

I couldn't control it.

Everything went away, and I was left heaving on the floor, limply, with everyone crowding around Bev. Where they watching?

I looked up and saw them all freaking out, and asking her what happened.
I looked a little closer and saw she was seriously banged up.

Like, super bad.

Like I almost felt bad.

Almost.

She deserved it. She drew first blood. She was asking for it.

I got up and rubbed my head. No one noticed me go to the bathroom.
I closed the door and locked it behind me.

I turned around and threw up into the toilet.

I couldn't bear another minute of those memories.

Soon, there were bangs on the door, as they realized I was in there.

I didn't answer.