Crestfallen

Haibara fell asleep after she cried her heart out. It was one of those rare times where she allowed herself to be vulnerable in front of other people. Conan stared at her as he gently carried her back to bed. She was giving herself a hard time, and he hated it.

He sits beside her bed, and touch her forehead. It was still hot, but her temperature had already dropped. She was getting stable. He sighed in relief.

He closed his eyes and think. The look on Haibara’s face earlier seems to etch in his memory. He hated it. He hated that she looked so sad and broken. He doesn’t want this kind of Haibara. He likes it better when she is wearing her usual smirk. He prefers her sarcasms, even though he was always her victim. He wanted to make her happy.

After a while, he felt the scientist stirred. He anticipated, and unknowingly, he felt his heartbeat quickened. He felt nervous all of a sudden.

Haibara slowly opened her eyes, and looked at him. “Kudo-kun…” she whispered.

Conan looked at her. She looked tired. “Yo. Haibara. How are you feeling?”

She looks at her wounded hand first before she answered, “Better…thank you.”

“Are you hungry?”

The mere mention of food seems to awaken Haibara’s hunger. She nodded. Conan smiled as he stood up and went to get something to eat. He came back after a while holding a tray of food that Ran had prepared earlier. He put it on the bedside table.

“Can you get up?” he asked.

Haibara rolled her eyes at his question. “I’m just sick, Kudo-kun. I am not paralyzed.”

Conan laughed at her answer. Haibara looked confusingly at him.

“What?” she asked.

“It’s nice to hear your nasty remarks again, Hai. I miss it.” He said casually while looking at her.

Haibara was caught off-guard at what he had said. She fought down a blush as she mumbled. “Of course.”

‘And goodness, what’s with the nickname, Kudo-kun? Will you stop calling me Hai? It’s making me nervous.’ She wanted to add, but lost her voice.

He smiled as he observed her. He felt relieved that she was starting to act like herself again. The scientist, on the other hand, felt a little embarrassed because of what happened earlier. But knowing her, she just acts casual as ever.

“What time is it already?” she asked after a while. 

The detective glanced at his watch. “Hmmm…its 11:23 in the evening already. You slept for hours. You should eat.” He said, as he set her food. “I reheated the food already since it was cold.”

Haibara just looked at the food first. It was chicken soup.

“What?” Conan asked. He was starting to worry that Haibara didn’t like the food.

“Did you cook this?” She asked suspiciously.

Conan scratched the back of his head as he admits, “No.”

“No wonder. It looks delicious.” She replied sardonically, as if mocking the detective.

Conan made a face. “Oi, oi.”

She smirked. “I bet you cannot even properly cook microwave foods.”

He sighed in defeat. “Okay. Whatever, Hai. Just eat already, ‘kay?”

‘You called me Hai again. What’s with that?’ She wanted to ask him but she was scared of what he will say. Is the detective even aware of what he had called her?

Her mind was elsewhere as she picked the spoon and attempted to eat. But then, she noticed her wound. Her dominant hand was wrapped with bandage making it difficult to hold the spoon properly.

Conan watched as she struggled. He wanted to help but Haibara seems determined to eat on her own. He was sure she will give him a death glare if he intercepted. On the other hand, Haibara ignored her wounded hand as she tried to scoop some soup again. The food was hot, and she almost spilled it.

Conan couldn’t watch any longer as he gets the spoon from her. “Hey…Let me.”

As expected, Haibara glared at him. “I can eat on my own.”

He just smiled as he scoops food from the bowl. “Yeah, but it will take ages, Hai. It’s late. So let me just feed you.” He blows the soup first before he positioned it in front of her mouth. “Here.”

Haibara fought down a blush. The detective was being so gentle towards her, and she was getting embarrassed. But of course, she had hidden what she’s feeling so well. She glared at him again to mask her embarrassment.

“Hey, eat it now, will you?” he said as he nudged the spoon nearer.

She rolled her eyes first before eating. Conan smiled. ‘Such a tsundere.’ He thought as he observed the scientist chew the food slowly. He noticed a smear of food at the corner of her mouth. Automatically, he lifted his hand towards her face and gently wiped it off.

Haibara’s face blushed into the deepest shade of red at his action. She gasped, and looked at him wide-eyed. Her heartbeat rivaled the speed of light. Conan seems to realize what he had just done. He, too, blushed furiously. He faked a cough as he scratched the back of his head. He had difficulty meeting her eyes.

‘Damn it, what have I done? I just moved without thinking.’ Conan thought as he inconspicuously gave Haibara a glance. She was still red and obviously flabbergasted, and he found it too adorable.

He fought the urge to just pull her into a kiss. ‘Gods, stop being so adorable Haibara. It’s hard to restrain myself. I might kiss you.’ He pleaded in his mind.

He shook his head to keep himself sane. He cleared his throat. “H-How was it?” he inquired.

It took Haibara a moment before she answered. “G-Good.” Then to ease the atmosphere, she added, “Thank God you didn’t cook.” She teased.

Conan composed himself as he shrugs his shoulders. “Ran cooked it earlier.”

By the mere mention of Ran’s name, Haibara seems to lost her appetite. “M-Mouri-san? She was here?” she asked in a whisper. She felt her chest tighten.

‘So they were together earlier. Is that why he seems to be in a good mood?’ she thought.

As always, Conan was clueless about the scientist’s unease. “Yeah. I called her earlier, since the professor was out. Well, it’s better than we starve to death, don’t you think?”

Haibara seems to lost her voice. She just averted her gaze and nodded. “Oh.”

Conan scooped another for her to eat. “Here, eat some more, so you can take some medicine.”

The scientist ate silently after that, the food seems to have lost its taste for some reason. The fuzzy feeling that she was feeling earlier was replaced with disappointment, pity and jealousy.

A/N: I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel so unmotivated. And I just wanted to lie down and sleep the whole day. If not, I am just watching kdrama. Is it bad? 😭😭