Forget

I look down at the pointy rocks below me, knowing that in seconds, the glowing grey stones, would be stained red with my blood.

I look at my wrists, which are covered in scars from the pain I've been through.

It's all going to end. I let out a cruel laugh, despite the tears streaming down my face.

I left school about an hour ago. I had some loose ends to tie up, a few letters to write.

Not that anybody will care to notice that I am gone.

My English teacher asked my class once, "How do you think you will die?" We were discussing a character obsessed with death.

The whole class spoke thing like, 'In place of someone I love.' or 'In a way that will save someone else.'

I, however told him the truth. "'I don't know how I'll die, all I know is that it will be to escape the pain that is life."

That's when I started seeing my therapist.

I remember the first time I saw Cal.

I was sitting in the cafeteria, when a new friend of mine (I can't even remember who) came up, a boy following her.

The world sort of stopped spinning, then began suddenly, throwing me off balance.

It was a three word exchange, and with each letter, I sank deeper.

I think that's where I went wrong.

Most people fall in love, I dove.

I peer cautiously over the edge of love, knowing it's deeper than it looks, but not caring. I dive head first, enjoying the refreshing feeling. Then, I get so deep that I have no oxygen to get back up to the surface.

I'm so selfish.

Everything I talk about revolves around me, me, me.

I am the biggest waste of everything to ever grace this Earth.

I'm standing on the edge of the cliff now, the salty breeze blowing off the ocean hitting my face.

This is it.

I dangle one leg off the side of the cliff, just to see how it feels. Free.

I take a deep breath, surrounding my mind in him. Complete and utter him.

I fall.

The pain only stays for a split second, until I am surrounded by darkness. And him. Always him.

I remember his lips on mine.