How to Catch a Butterfly

13 | Avoiding The Inevitable

     "Good morning, everyone. I'm sure this must come as a surprise, but Mr. Larson needed a substitute on short notice, and the stand-in isn't here yet, so I'll be taking over for this period today." For some reason, that struck me as odd. For one, Mr. Larson rarely took off, so for his absence to be sudden enough that the substitute hadn't even arrived yet, something must've happened. Maybe he just got sick or something, but for whatever reason, I felt the need to raise my hand.

"Yes, what is it, and take off your hood. You know that isn't allowed here." I don't argue, pushing it off my head before clearing my throat.

"What happened to Mr. Larson?"

"You didn't hear?" A student nearby chimes, seeming genuinely surprised. "Earlier today he had a bad fall down the stairs in the west hallway and crashed his head into the wall. An ambulance had to take him away and everything." My eyes widened in shock, knowing that the walls of the school are made of cement and brick. He's lucky if he didn't break his skull! I guess I did come to school a little later than usual. I must've just missed it.

"No way. I hope he's okay," another classmate adds, sounding greatly concerned, before the substitute chimed in.

"Yes, unfortunately, there was a nasty accident. I'm not at liberty to tell details, but from what we hear, he's still breathing and in stable condition. However, it doesn't look like he'll be coming back for a long while." I gulp and squeeze my hands together on my lap. Well, there goes my safe haven at lunchtime. Guess I'll be eating in the cafeteria today. Subconsciously, my eyes drift over towards the bug-obsessed teen, who wore his usual, stone-faced expression, not at all phased by the news. That didn't sit right with me, not at all. Maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions again? I have no evidence pointing to him... Unless, however, this had something to do with that chat Mr. Larson said he was going to have with him. I shook my head.

'That's crazy talk! Havik wouldn't... Not to a teacher! I mean... Come on, Y/N! Pull yourself together! You're letting your paranoia get to you.' It was just too coincidental, but I also am not in any state of mind to be coming up with wild assumptions like this and believe them as fact. Still, I can't help feeling this dread. I felt the air suck straight from my lungs when Havik's eyes shifted over to mine. I jumped and quickly looked forward, though his gaze was clearly still on me for a good amount of time before class resumed after attendance. When the bell rang, my luck had run out as a hand was held out to me by a figure standing beside my desk.

"Come on, before we're late." My hands shook as I stared at his before I stood up and maneuvered around Havik to avoid him, not saying a word as I hurried out of the classroom. I didn't want him to touch me again. In the corner of my eye, I could see the outstretched hand clench with anger, which only urged me to walk faster with a heavy breath leaving my mouth. I didn't like ignoring him like this, but I can't bring myself to face him after what he did.

     Throughout the first half of the day, I had dodged his attempts to talk and walk me to my next class, even though he was now trying to act friendly. I luckily managed to find a way around him each time and felt the need to cry once I was out of sight. At lunchtime, however, I could not escape. A hand pushed down on my shoulder, forcing me to sit at my usual table, facing a certain blonde who wore a hard stare full of rage as he slammed his hands against the table behind me, hovering so close as he trapped me.

"Quit avoiding me!"

"I- I- I—"

"Christ, Havik, t- take it easy. Can't you see you're scaring her?" Jordan tries his best to remain calm, attempting to relax the boy by speaking friendly with him, only to flinch when his glare pointed towards him.

"Stay out of this! It doesn't concern you," he snaps, and unfortunately, Jordan folded, silencing due to fear. They might have gotten a little more used to Havik since he started hanging around them, but all my friends knew he didn't care about them and would switch on a dime if they ever crossed him. Havik brings his attention back to me, and I nearly flinched at our closeness, able to recall those passionate kisses he had given me in that empty classroom. My heart started racing as my eyes teared up, wondering if anyone would bother to stop him if he tried something like that now. After all, we're in the cafeteria. Maybe a teacher will come if we shout loud enough? He spoke next in a somewhat heartbroken voice that made my stomach twist, though it was still rough enough that those around us could not decipher his emotions. "Answer me. Why won't you even look at me?"

"P- Please, Havik, just leave me alone," I manage to squeak out under my breath, but it wasn't loud enough for him to hear. I was scared to death. I could hardly muster that much.

"Speak up!" I couldn't. I couldn't find my voice to speak again; instead, I hung my head low to avoid his gaze again. I heard him draw a breath through his teeth before his lips nearly touched my ear, causing me to flinch away a bit, but I was still trapped by his arms to leave anywhere. "Enough of this. Come to the park after school today. We're going to talk, and if you leave me hanging there, I'll find your house and drag you out of it myself." I felt my stomach sink as I frantically nodded my head. I couldn't tell if that was a false threat, not with how he spoke it.

     "Good. I'll be waiting." My lips pulled straight as his lips faintly touched my cheek in a way the others couldn't tell it was a kiss, more a brush of skin, before leaving to sit alone elsewhere in the cafeteria. I thought I'd melt right out of my seat until April placed a hand on my shoulder, eyes full of fear and worry.

"What was all that about? What's going on between you two?" Instead of an answer, I broke down to tears as I faced the table and covered my face. I couldn't speak. Goddamnit! Why do the words get caught up in my throat every time! "H- Hey, don't cry, Y/N. Y/N?" April looked to Jordan,but he didn't know what to do either, since I couldn't explain myself and without our group mother Michael here to comfort me properly. He must still be in the lunch line. I surprise her by forcing a smile.

"It's nothing. I just had a little argument with him. He's mad, as usual. I'll be okay. I'm sure I can handle it." Am I sure? Am I really sure? Well, it was enough for them to buy it, I guess, since both looked a little more relieved.

"Don't scare us like that."

"You've gotta be more careful with him, Y/N. I know you see the good in him and all, but you've gotta remember that he's still a violent person. We don't want you to get hurt." And, yet, my mind faintly recalls when they had left me in his violent fists before. Would they even really care if I told them the truth of what was going on? I tried to release that thought, but I couldn't help myself from doubting. An arm slung around my shoulders as April attempted to comfort me with one of her jokes.

"He needs to relax. Do you think he'd kill me if I gave him a coupon for a spa treatment?" She laughs, and I too cracked a smile before it quickly fell. In only a few hours, I'd be meeting up with Havik... In the woods... Alone.

'I'm going to die.'