Just You and All of Me

Napalunok ako ng makita siya sa loob. I felt claustrophobic right now. He just stands there in front of me while the elevator doors are closing. Ngayon, kayang kaya na niya akong sunggaban o saktan kung gugustuhin niya. No one will ever help me. I saw it in his eyes. He is smiling but his happiness does not reach his eyes. Anger is written in those deep brown eyes. I know the reason of his anger. It is because of my choice. Pinili kong galitin siya sa pamamamagitan ng pagpili ng gown na pinagawa ni Chesca.

Naramdaman ko ang pagbaba ng elevator. That's the time he walks near me. As a form of defense, I step back while looking at him, breathing slow but heavily. One of his brows raises up and he immediately draws his eyes away. He remained that way for awhile. When he looks up, I see hurt in his fine brown eyes.

" Am I scaring you?" he asked looking at me. Napakurap naman ako sa tanong niya. Does he scare me? Well... I am not afraid of him, I am afraid of what he is going to do to me. It's different.

" Bakit naman ako matatakot sa iyo?" I asked..

" That's right. You don't need to be afraid. I will neither hurt you even if Im on my limits nor do things that will make you go away." Sambit niya at may maliit na ngiti na sa kanyang mukha.

Hindi ko namalayan na malapit na pala siya at nasa harap ko lang. He gently puts strands of my hair on my left ear.

" Do you know you look so beautiful tonight? You are the prettiest tonight. " He said smiling. Bigla kong naalala ang kasama niyang babae. She was so beautiful too.

" Your date is more beautiful. She is an actress and been successful in her chosen field. No wonder you can't take your eyes off her. " Sambit ko at nahimigan ang bitterness sa katotohanang iyon.

Bigla siyang natawa. Ako naman ay namula ng dahil sa sariling kahihiyan. I really did sound so affected about the beautiful date of his! Well not really. Ayaw ko lang kasi ng mga taong nagsisinungaling sa akin. Sabi niya maganda ako diba? Eh hindi naman siya makatingin sa akin ng diretso. Nakatingin man pero di naman nagtatagal. Nananatili iyon sa date niya na malamang ang totoong pinakamaganda sa paningin niya.

" I was not looking at you that much because I don't want to cause a scene and ruin Chesca's party. I was trying to control my craziness to you. I think you can't bare me when I am in my jealous state. " Sambit niya at ngumiti sa akin. Napatingala ako sa kanya at naramdaman ko ang pagiinit ng aking pisngi ng makita ang intensidad sa mga mata niya. It was full of passion and desire.

Biglang nakaroon ng isang naaberyang makina. Tapos ay pumapatay sindi ang ilaw sa elevator. Mas napadikit ako sa malamig na haligi ng elevator at napatingala. Makalipas ng ilang pagpatay sindi ng ilaw ay tuluyan ng namatay ang ilaw na nagpadilim sa buong elevator. Napapikit ako ng mariin at ikinakalma ang sarili. Hindi ako komportable sa masyadonmadilim na lugar lalo na kung masyadong makipot. Wala pa naman akong cellphone na dala kaya hindi ako makakapagilaw ng kaunti.

Naririnig ko lamang ang mga hininga namin ni Cedric at naramdaman ko din ang kanyang paglapit.

" Are you okay?" tanong niya at naramdaman ko ang paghawak niya sa kamay ko. I hold his hand tighter dahil natatakot ako sa masyadong madilim na lugar. I made him as my strength to face my fear at that moment. Alam kong masyadong mahigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa kanyang kamay. He was relaxed on the other hand, contrasting the tightness of my hold. He allowed me to hold him that way.

I heard scrathing and rumbling of machines that doubled my fear. Sa takot ko ay napayakap ako kay Cedric habang nakahawak parin sa kanyang kamay. I bury my face on his tuxedo. I smell his manly perfume na nagpakalma ng kaunti sa akin.

" My baby is afraid of the dark..." then he laughed. Sa inis ko sa kanyang pang-aasar ay hinampas ko ang matigas niyang dibdib. Mas tumawa pa siya. Tapos bigla niyang inilagay sa aking likurang baywang ang kanyang kamay. He swayed slowly and sang a soft song like a lullaby. In that dark elevator room, I felt safe and calmed by his voice and gentle touch.

" La,la la,la la la la ... "

Look up at the stars

that light the night sky.

Wherever you are,

remember they shine... hmmm-mmm.

Oh when the wind blows,

I'm feeling you here.

Forever I'll know

that forever you're near in my soul.

This my prayer in darkness,

don't let go of me.

Do you know where your heart is?

It's where I want to be.

Without you here I'm falling.

What else can I do?

Through the years I'm calling,

I'm calling home to you.

Be the one who

says I want you

evermore inside.

You're the only

one who knows me.

Won't you be my light?

Be my light.

La,lala,lalala,...."

At pagkatapos niyang kumanta ay siyang pagilaw ng buong elevator. We just stand there together, very close. He looks at me with the same passion and desire. I mirror his eyes.

His face comes closer and my heart flutters, beating fast. I close my eyes and follow the flow of my beating heart. Then, I feel his soft lips on mine. It is a gentle, slow kiss, just right for my first ever kiss.

He leaves my lips for a moment and looks into me as I slowly open my eyes. He again kisses me for the second and third time... I can feel his fast beating heart as our entwined hands lay on his hard chest.

Then we look at each other after the sweet gentle kisses we have shared. I hear the opening sound of the elevator.

" Ayos lang po ba kayo ma'am and sir?" tanong ng isang di pamilyar na lalaki.Ito malamang ay isa sa mga tauhan sa hotel na nagaayos ng elevator.  That moment, the love spell breaks. Naramdaman ko ang kahihiyan sa aking sarili. I just revealed that I like him! Napalayo ako sa kanya habang siya ay mataman lang na nakatingin. Napatakbo ako palayo habang sapo ang mukha habang naririnig ang pagtawag niya sa akin at ang kanyang halakhak sa saya.

========================================================================

Author's note: Well hindi ko kaya matapos ito. Dahil marami talaga akong trabaho. Hai! Yung kanta na kinanta ni Cedric is entitled: Be My light by Kevin Oh. Hihihihihihi.. Ang ganda ng kanta na yan.