The Nerd?UNEDITED

For a somber mood, please play the song chosen above when you read the lyrics in bold.

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I can almost see it

I never liked the thought of being forced into losing my virginity, especially if the one who was snatching it away from me was my own father. Indeed, I would envision the many scenarios in my head, but never did I dream for them to come true. Never did ever want this. I only envisioned it, because I was afraid.

That dream I'm dreaming but,
There's a voice inside my head saying,

I was afraid of something I couldn't prepare myself for. How can you embrace yourself of the impact of your own flesh and blood forcing themselves upon you? And in my own naïveté, I thought if I embraced for it, when the time came, it wouldn't damage me as much.

You'll never reach it,

But boy, was I so wrong.

Nothing in this world could prepare me for this moment. Not my masked courage, nor my snarky comments.

I just didn't expect this to come so soon, let alone coming at all. It was just too much to handle. Why couldn't I be a normal teenager girl with a normal life to live?

Every step I'm taking,

"Why, Daddy? What happened?" I suddenly voiced, attempting to tremble away from his half naked form. My back then thudded against the cold, hard wall. "W-What did I do?"

"It's what's you're going to do..."

Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction

My body began to freeze. My eyes were wide eyed, staring back at my father in fear.  My faith is shaking. I could feel it from the tips of my fingers to the split ends in my hair. It was a surreal feeling, that feeling of pure vulnerability and hopelessness.

His eyes were clouded, deep in thought. It gave me time to think. Time to shake out of this fear. Time to shake myself awake from this flight mode and into fight mode. 

But I,
Gotta keep trying

Tears began eyes to escape past my eyelids as my legs trembled, trying to get me to stand. If I was going to go down, I wasn't going to go down without a fight.

Gotta keep my head held high

"What do you think you're doing?" He menacingly asked, eyes assessing my trembling frame.

My fingertips reached for anything behind me, anything to grab in protection. As my fingers clutched around something seemingly formidable for the moment, I replied, "I know it's time to get schwifty!"

There's always gonna be another mountain

His fist collided into my gut, other hand clutching my hair. It stung my scalp immensely as it clung to my hairs. My hands reach up to his burley palm, trying to pry my hair from his clutch.

"Take off your pants and your panties," he commanded, alcohol wafting through my nose, burning its hairs.

I'm always gonna wanna make it move