The Canvas

I rarely dreamed about taking my life. I guess tonight is the night that will start it all. My mother gently shook me awake the next morning.
"Emma, I'm sorry to say this but, it's time to get ready for school"
I groaned and rolled my face back into the pillow. I muffled out the words
"I'm too sad to leave my bed"
I heard my mom sigh and she thought for a minute,
"How about I take you out of school after fourth hour? Ill take you to get whatever you want for lunch and ill buy you a movie and ice cream, then drop you off at home?"
Surprisingly, I was looking forward to that.
"Sure. That sounds great, thanks"
I used whatever strength I had left to lift myself out of bed and hug my mom. She tossed me a pair of jeans and pointed at the clock.
"Hurry up" she said and she left the room.
I got myself together, including my waterproof mascara and went downstairs. I almost passed the counter with my pills until my mom also had to point at the counter to remind me. She went outside to get the car started as I turned to the counter. I took my anxiety pills then eyed down my anti-depressants. The feeling of sad did comfort me, I put the pills back into the bottle, put on my fake smile and went to get into the car. My mom purposely drove slower so I'd get into school late. She even bought me coffee and a granola bar from a little shop on the way to school.
I quietly snuck into English and sat down leaving the pass on my teachers desk. Even though I've constantly been sleeping since yesterday, I accidentally fell asleep in English. The passing time bell rang, which woke me up. My eyes opened to see my teacher looking down on me. Her face showed no remorse but her eyes showed a helping hand.
"I'm sorry about everything. I won't talk about it. Here's an essay I assigned today, it's due next Monday but you can turn it into me whenever. I hope everything becomes okay again" I was surprised a teacher could be that nice. As I walked into second hour, I checked my emergency phone my mom gave me because she knew i broke mine, and I saw a text from my dad,
"Hey kiddo, I sent a message to your school telling them what happened. I also said that if the teachers don't go easy on you, they'll hear from me. Have a good day. Love you"
I'm glad I have a study hall this hour, I opened my journal and started to draw. I drew lines, some thicker than others. To everyone else they were lines but to me, they were battle scars that are helping me fight my demons. I felt tears welling up so I put my head down and fell asleep.
Time passed and it was finally time for my mom to pick me up, I was walking out the door to where my mom was waiting and Kendra was also there, she tripped me. I flew forward and put my hands out to brace my fall. I swear I felt something break in my left arm and I screamed. I couldn't let Kendra do that. I quickly got back up, not even brushing away my tears and I grabbed her by the throat and slammed her head against the wall ignoring the pain in my wrists. Next thing I knew my mom was dragging me out of the school and trying to calm me down.
20 minutes later she broke the silence between my sobs,
"Hun! Why are you still crying?"
I told her about how I swear something broke in my left wrist. She tried to pull my sweatshirt up to see it and I aggressively pulled my hand away.
At that moment, my mom knew.
"You cut again didn't you..."