N A T H A N
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And knowing what could of been
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away.
Adam you know that is what really hurts the most. I had you I held you so close and maybe I didn't hold you close enough because I lost you. Adam. I didn't want to lose you, I can't lose you but I did and I am paying the price.A sad lonely blind faggot.
Would I still be gay? I wasn't homosexual Adam I was Adamsexual and only you made me feel that way and now you are not here to make me feel that way. I'm broken Adam you left me broken and I don't think I could fix it.
"Hey are you okay?" a angelic voice asked.Adam? No No that can't be Adam."It's me Cameron," Cameron said and I instantly felt horrible, nobody could be or sound like Adam.I felt a hand rest in my shoulder and I flinch and the person removes it quickly.
"I guess you are waiting on someone too huh?" Cameron asked and I feel him close to me."I'm waiting on my uncle to pick my up my adopted mother has an adopted brother I will be staying at I never met them but I heard he has a son my age, maybe when I meet him we could all hang out," he said again." He said to look out for a limo," he said happily.
' Really? I go home in a limo sometimes,' I said in my mind.
"Yeah," he said which freaked me out that he knew what I was thinking." Their here," he cheered.
"Cameron and Nathan over here," I heard my father shout which was really shocking not the fact that I am blind and he told me to come to some unknown direction but the fact he knew Cameron. Wait he was talking about my dad? my dad is his uncle?Is he staying by us.
"Oh Nathan I see you have already met Cameron, this is the kid I told you would be staying with us," Dad said coming up to us and taking a hold of my hand and I finally remember he said something like that.
"Oh yes Nathan and I are already friends," Cameron cheered and I felt him touch my arm causing me to flinch again.
'Don't touch me! Only Adam Can touch me!' I shouted in my mind.
"Cameron, Nathan doesn't really like people touching him," Dad whispered to Cameron knowing how I felt about touching.
"Oh I am sorry," he said sheepishly and dad took my hand leading me to the limo I only let my parents touch me sometimes when I need to get around. Sometimes I feel so helpless I could get my sight back but I need this as a reminder of my past, a reminder of Adam.
---------
"Honey we are here," dad stated walking in the house . He didn't have to help me here I knew this house too well and so did Adam, he practically lived here, so many memories and joy here, well the memories are here which are now painful reminders and no joy just sadness well on my part. I heard footsteps coming from the kitchen and a girlish squeal.
"Oh how lovely! I have two boys to take care of!" she shouted happily. See that? I don't have a horrible family actually mom stays home as much as she can working on their company, my parent's company from home to spend more time with her broken son. Ever since the accident they have become super protective and annoying, I mean dad hired people to follow me in school just to make sure I don't get bullied or injured and if that is bad enough when I get home mom is always trying to feed me and fatten me up and try to have mother-son bonding time. But I don't talk she does all the talking and I just listen I mean I am not that cold. She really wants me to talk and open up but I can't, I won't.
"Oh Cameron you are so cute standing next to Nathan you would make such a cute couple," mom cheered.
Adam and I made the perfect couple.
"Oh honey no need to blush I could tell you're gay and we don't judge, I have a eye for these things like when I told Nathan he loved Adam-" and she stopped right there I guess she covered her mouth because I heard a slapping sound. "I'm sorry Nathan," she said sadly touching my shoulder causing my to flinch and I take a step back and headed to my room.
She knows what talking about Adam does to me and she compares Cameron to My Adam? Nobody could be on the same level as Adam.
'Not even you,I mean I am so awesome and you are blessed to be in my presence,' Adam said. Adding to his huge ego, I love that about him that he would never doubt himself it made me admire him even more. I went to my bed drifting off in the sleep thinking about Adam and surprisingly a little about Cameron.
Yep I am screwed.
----------
C A M E R O N
"I'm sorry Nathan," his mother said touching him and he flinched then walked away and I could see the hurt and regret in her eyes and the sad expression on his dad's face.
"I'm sorry I am so stupid," she said banging her hand against her forehead and his father pulled her into a hug whispering sweet nothings to her while rubbing her back.
"I'm sorry Cameron, you see Adam is a friend well way more than a friend that Nathan lost in a car accident, the accident that cost him his sight and my baby has changed so much since then he just stays in his room and doesn't talk and sometimes he talks to himself like he is talking to Adam, he won't see any doctors or anything anymore, my baby he's-" she said and started crying .
"He's changed and he doesn't want his sight back even though he could," his father said hugging his crying mother tightly. Nathan is so selfish I mean I lost people and I am not like that heck my mom has cancer and she is dying and I am staying strong and my little sister drowned a few years ago and I am still moving on strong. I know it hurts but I know they want me strong. I have no knock some sense into this Nathan Blake, one way or another.
