solitude ? kihyun

t e n

"gwenchana?" kihyun's voice awakened as she blinked twice. in front of her was waiting a mug with warm tea. 

"ah... yes, thank you." she said bowing her head and taking a sip of the sweet tea. 

she stared at his eyes and realized how amazingly he had been drawn in the sketchbook and for a second felt so powerless over not knowing kibum's hidden talent as well. 

for a second, she couldn't listen to his words and she just focused on his rosie full lips, moving slowly as he talked avidly to her. 

"yuna-ssi?" he shook his hand in front of her. 

she shook her head as if she was waking up from a trance. "ah yes?"

"i asked you if you're hungry? or if we should start now?" he asked, crossing his arms on his chest.

"ahh... yes very hungry." she suddenly revealed as she walked towards the kitchen. kihyun stared at her with a confused face but quickly followed her. 

"okay... i made these pancakes, let me get you the honey." he said looking for it on the drawer. 

yuna sat on the breakfast table and started eating. kihyun just sat across her as he watched eat with eager eyes. "aren't you eating too slow today?" he joked, pushing her softly. 

she shook her head. "is just this is so good." 

a few minutes passed and she finally finished the pancakes. kihyun quickly collected her plate and threw it to the dishwasher. "kaja." he said with a single clap, walking towards the hallway. 

"ah wait- she exclaimed, maybe higher than expected. kihyun stopped on his tracks and turned to look at her with widened eyes - maybe we should do the dishes and clean the kitchen first?"

kihyun narrowed his eyes. "why?"

she shrugged. "uh... i hate knowing there are dirty dishes left... also the kitchen has a lot of things to organize-

"yuna-ssi... we talked about this." he immediately knew she was trying to avoid going inside kibum's room. 

he turned completely towards her and crossed his arms on his chest. 

yuna noticed how that day he was wearing a simple black tshirt and a pair of black sweatpants that marked easily the soft muscles on his arms and thighs. 

she swallowed hard and looking away she nodded. "i know... it's just the kitchen is a lot of work-

"we eat there everyday, that's the last place to clean, come on." he said motioning with his head towards kibum's room. 

yuna nodded like a scolded puppy and finally walked hesitantely towards the hallway. she stopped in front of the room and glaced at it.

she looked down to the line on the floor right on the door, where it divided the hallway with the inside of kibum's room and bit her lip. 

it was obvious she needed to help with the cleaning and she felt stupid for pondering into going inside or not like this, as if she was a child. 

but it was traumatic and she didn't want to. 

kihyun, who was already inside, eyeing around, noticed her struggle. "what is it?" he asked with a worried face. 

she remained silent at the door's frame. she glanced at him with uncomfortable eyes and swallowed hard. "you can pass me the boxes, i can take them from here to the shed." 

"yuna-ssi..." his voice was steady as if he was scolding her. she glanced desperately inside the room but didn't move.

she felt kihyun's steps approaching her and soon his hands on her shoulders, squeezing them. 

when she looked at his eyes, even if they were green,  she swore he looked exactly as kibum, for a second. 

her heart skipped a beat as she stared at him. "you need to move on and this is the best way of doing it." he said stepping aside and motioning for her to come inside. 

but she shook her head. 

"i am here, with you." he said extending his hand for her to take it. 

she glanced at his eager fingers, waiting for hers and she couldn't help but feel like a traitor. 

inside her mind, taking his hand only meant one thing: she was deciding moving on from kibum. 

and maybe that was something kibum deserved, being overcame like that,  after all the lies he had told her... but sometimes she still believed this was all a good old joke and that he never lied to her and that she still needed to be loyal to him. 

and it was stupid. 

it was a stupid way of reasoning. because he had lied to her and he was gone. 

gathering all the strenght she had in that moment, she took his hand and walked inside with small and hesitant steps. 

his hand was comforting and it was what kept her complete inside the room. 

she glanced around and noticed there were more things she hadn't seen from all the times she walked by. clothes around, an ipod, notebooks and pills.

kihyun glanced at her as they both realized the location of several pill's containers right on top of the nightstand and she felt her insides twisting when the doctor's words suddenly flashed right on her mind.

"prescription drug abuse"

she swallowed hard and kihyun did too. "uh... if you want you can start with those cds... i'll clean this." he said pushing her softly towards a pile of old cds as he walked directly towards the pile of small plastic containers.

yuna grabbed one of the empty boxes as she tried to focus on organizing the cds but the image of the containers wouldn't leave her mind. 

one thing was hearing it from the doctor's mouth and another different was going to the place where your late fiancé died and where the stuff he used to do it where right there, displayed before your eyes. 

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a/n: hey guys! sorry for the suuuper late update but i've been super sick with sore throat and fever, headaches and more so yeah, just today i am feeling better and got some energy to get out of bed and write some stuff. 

i just wanted to let you know why i wasn't updating this story and well, now you know the reason. 

this isn't related to any of this nor to kpop but: are there any potterheads around here? if so, let me know! i am one myself too!

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