I Don't Do Sadness // Jyrus

At lunch, Cyrus had the worst time. He had thrown up after running to the bathroom that morning and had lost his appetite after that. As he walked over to their lunch table, he got orange peels thrown at him.

Buffy, Andi, and Cyrus all sat in silence at their table, none of them really eating their lunches. As people walked past their table, they'd dump their trash onto it while saying a stupid remark. They just ignored it and continued to stare at nothing.

One thing landing in front of Cyrus was a chocolate chocolate chip muffin delivered by TJ's friends with TJ eyeing from behind.

"Look, Cyrus!" Andi said to Cyrus. "It's a muffin."

He shook his head and said, "I don't care."

When the bell rang, Cyrus sprung up from the table and disappeared into the hallway, which left Andi and Buffy to clean the trash off of the table. Buffy went to get the trash can and they wiped everything into it in silence. When the muffin fell in the trash, Andi quietly mumbled, "He loves muffins."

"I'm going to kill TJ," Buffy stated.

"Please don't, Cyrus wants to handle this by himself."

"Cyrus can't handle this by himself!" Buffy yelled.

They both felt the tension in the air and stopped looking at one another. They followed each other out of the lunch room and down the hall to their next class. As they went, Andi blurted out, "I'm worried about him."

Buffy wrapped her arm around Andi's shoulder and said, "I am, too."

"What should we do?" Andi asked.

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know. I wish he would tell us what was bothering him because it's not just TJ, but he won't. He only talked about that kind of stuff with TJ and he just blew it. I tried to talk to him about his mom stuff but he just started to storm out."

Andi sighed. "I hope he doesn't do anything stupid," Buffy stated.

"I just don't want him to get hurt," Andi said.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

After school, Cyrus went outside and saw TJ waiting by the buses. The sight of him made Cyrus smile, despite what he had done earlier. TJ smiled, too, and called out, "Hey, Cyrus," as he walked over to meet him.

"Hey," Cyrus responded, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Um, what was that earlier? When I tried to hold you hand?" Cyrus asked.

"Oh, well, you know, I can't really have the guys thinking that I'm gay and stuff," TJ replied. He was staring it liked it was just common sense.

"What do you mean?" Cyrus asked.

"I have a reputation. And if the guys think that I'm dating a guy, that would ruin it."

TJ kept talking but Cyrus' ears felt clogged and his eyes were glazed over. He couldn't move or think about anything, TJ's words just repeated in his mind along with the thoughts that had returned.

TJ was telling him that being gay would ruin his reputation. So what was it doing to Cyrus'?

"Well, um, we can still hang out, but not during school," TJ kept saying.

You're not good enough for him.

He doesn't want to be in public with you.

When a tear fell from his eye, Cyrus snapped out of it and reverted back to running away from TJ. He called after him, but Cyrus kept walking. His face was hot and his eyes felt watery. His legs powered him down the street and off of the school grounds.

He ran all of the way to his father's house and slammed the door shut behind him. The second it had closed, Cyrus sobbed heavily and loud, his body shaking as he doubled over with his his sobs.

His step-mother was in he kitchen and heard him  and quickly was at his aid. "Cyrus, Cyrus, what's wrong?" She said as she tried to relax him while pulling him up into a hug.

He cried and choked out, "He, he just d-doesn't like me," the ending word getting swallowed by him crying out.

His step-mother checked her watch and said to him, "Well, I just came home to grab my binder, I need to go back to work now."

He pulled away from her and she wiped the tears from his eyes. "It'll be alright, I'll be home in a few hours, just calm down, okay?"

He nodded and tried to keep his trembling lips from crying more. She pressed her lips against his head before rushing out the door.

Cyrus tried to think about how she was concerned about him and tried to push the dark thoughts away.

No, she just feels bad for you.

You made her late to work.

She just doesn't want to deal with you anymore.